There are drums in the deep. It is coming. It is here. Finals week (aka Hell week) is upon us. With it comes a mixture of emotions--stress, anxiety, depression, hunger, exhaustion, thirst, a desperate need to pee (or maybe that's just me). Here are some things every college student goes through during finals week as told by "Lord of the Rings":
1. When you're late for your final and everyone glares at you for making noise.
Ignore them. Just be glad you made it at all.
2. When it's 3 am and your brain just can't hold any more information.
It's okay to cry. Real men cry. Women too. Just let it go.
3. When you realize your final assignment was due at midnight and it's 12:01 am.
It may just be the end of the world. That paper was worth, like, 97 percent of your grade.
4. When you're so stressed and hangry you'll eat literally anything, even healthy food.
It's okay, eat all you want. Stress makes you burn a bajillion calories. You need to eat so you don't dissolve from your own tears.
5. When you crush that final you studied literally 36 hours straight for.
Who ever said cramming doesn't work clearly never went to college.
6. When you think the answer is either A or C...but it's definitely not D. Or is it?
Oh, crap. Crap. There's "All of the above." It can't be that. It can't. Crap, it is. Right?
7. When you walk into the wrong classroom, even though you've literally been meeting in the same place all semester.
Smile and wave, smile and wave.
8. When you've gotten three hours of sleep over the past four days.
Coffee. Coffee. More coffee. All the espresso. Just get an espresso IV.
9. When final grades are posted and you somehow made a B in that class you were totally failing.
Dear grade curve gods, here is my soul and a chocolate chip cookie. Please, please be generous.
10. When you get a question that you're certain belongs on an astrophysics test, not a world history final.
There is no way we covered this. I'm not even sure that's English.
11. When you question changing your major for the seventh time.
Do I really want to be an accountant? I could totally train dolphins for a living. Marine biology it is.
12. When you realize the coffee shop is closed because it's freaking 4:30 am and you have to wait another two hours before they open again.
Coffee is life. It is breath. It is hope. It is the nectar that flows through our veins and brains...and okay, I need sleep.
13. When you walk out of a final and realize your best friend answered every question differently than you.
Uh...one of us must be right. One of us has to be right. So if I get an A, you get an A too. That's how friendship works.
14. When you finally fall asleep after three consecutive all-nighters.
Sweet, blissful dreams of dandelions and rainbows and failing at everything in life. Wait. What?
15. When you realize you don't know anything anymore.
I have no idea what I'm talking about, but at least I'm using fancy words.
16. When you have to tell your mom you probably won't get that B.
So that's what a screeching hyena sounds like. Good to know.
17. When you wake up and realize you slept through 15 alarms, and your final has already started.
Who cares that I'm still wearing pajamas and fuzzy slippers. I'm here. I'm alive. Oh, wait, where are my glasses? Crap.
18. When all the caffeine from those 12 espresso shots starts to finally kick in.
Why are my lips numb? Does that mean it's working?
19. When that cute guy walks by you and your BFFs in the library, but none of you have showered in three days.
Does anyone have a hairbrush? Maybe some degreaser?
20. When you finish your last final and can finally be happy and live again.
It's over. It's done. Be free.
