Back in the day, children used to be able to roam freely throughout the neighborhood and come home when asked. It was the child's responsibility to check in with their parents at the time given. Scrapes and bruises were nothing to worry about, there was nothing to fret about kids playing on the street, and children generally had a better sense of responsibility by their teenage years.
Nowadays, we see parents who hover over their children, making nearly all their decisions for them and worrying about every little scrape they could get. They're forcing their children into AP classes, sports, or other activities that they may have no interest in. I've seen too many cases of good kids turned bad due to over-parenting and I've seen way too many cases of bad decisions made due to the lack of responsibility.
It's a very good thing to have tabs on one's kids. Keeping track of their grades, their progress in their sports, and how well they do their chores teaches responsibility and builds character. However, too much hovering over their grades and pushing them too hard in their sports and other responsibilities can cause what used to be a passion to turn to hatred. I think that we've let go of these values of letting kids fall once in a while only to put into place a sort of "bubble child" value.
A bubble child is protected from everything. Harm, germs, other children...you name it! But what it's doing is teaching one's child that they're going to be protected underneath this bubble forever and that's not particularly true. While one's child will always be able to go and ask for guidance underneath their parents, they may not be able to accept responsibility in the "real world."
My parents made me go out and get a job. They no longer provided my gas money, money I spent on food or play, or money spend on things like cosmetics or school supplies. I have since learned the responsibility of what it will be like when I become an adult and must live on my own. I'll be able to go out and make good choices on food and other items, I have confidence I'll be able to budget to pay bills, and I now know how the working world works.
Parents who force their child into putting all of their focus into school or sports or other activities are setting the child up for some form of failure in the adult world. They won't have the skills needed to live on their own, to make good financial choices, or to be able to work with others in a traditional working environment. By letting the child make some bad choices and dealing with the responsibility of either fixing their choice or living with it can also help build character, as well as build them up for the adult world.
I've heard and seen horror stories about children who have made awful choices to prove to their parents that they don't own them. Because they have never had to live with the responsibility of making bad decisions and repercussions of their choices, they fall harder on their face than they would have if they had made a choice with similar repercussions when they were 13 years old. I've seen the "Stricter Parents make Better Liars" in action one too many times.
Hovering over one's child teaches nothing but rebellion. It causes that "I hate you" moment between child and parent and often enough causes tension within the relationship for months, years, or even lifetimes. Keeping track of progress or grades isn't a bad thing, but making that all the child cares about can be. Letting a child make bad decisions teaches responsibility and builds them up for surviving in the real world. I promise they'll thank you when they're older.
