I stared into his eyes, in shock. He had filled my heart with all these promises and hopes for the future. And there he was, telling me that we no longer could be a thing and that his heart belonged with someone else.

I was confused. I was hurt. And I felt betrayed. I gave him so much of my energy, and here he was telling me that our romantic connection was no longer worth it. He was happy and his heart was content moving on from me, and my heart was hurt.

This was it. This was heartbreak. My first heartbreak.

As I started carrying around this anger in my heart, I began to realize the beauty that comes with heartbreak.

Someone who didn't want me had left me. Even though I had wanted him, he didn't. And I realized that I had just been protected from life with someone who didn't truly value or wants me in the way I wanted him to. I had just been protected from a life I didn't deserve. This must be why people say rejection is protection. I could've spent my life with someone who wasn't truly, completely, and 100% invested in spending theirs with mine. We didn't work out.

And… I am finally starting to understand that that is OK. Because this means there is someone better for me out there, who my connection with will work out. Isn't that beautiful? To know that even though this is the end of my love story with him, this is not the end of the love story of my life.

I was mourning over the fact that we didn't work out, even though our connection felt so deep and beautiful to me. That sense of deep hurt in my heart was proof that our connection was real. That the romance we shared was real. That all the late nights we spent talking to each other were real and meant something to my heart. I was feeling pain because I had experienced so many beautiful moments with someone else, and the depth of my heartbreak was evidence of how beautiful those times were.

I decided instead of just mourning the past connection we had, I could also feel grateful for all the beautiful experiences that connection had brought me. And, because I had experienced that depth of connection and beautiful moments with someone who realized he didn't want me anymore, imagine how thousand times more beautiful my connection and experiences will be with someone who truly wants me and won't question that.

Perhaps they call it heartbreak because it breaks open your heart, to the point where it's hard to close it off to the depth of emotions it's feeling. The pain that came from the end of this love story was real. I couldn't numb it or pretend like it wasn't there. Because this heartbreak wouldn't allow me to numb me from feeling all the deep emotions that come with living this human experience. I realized by numbing the pain, I was numbing myself from feeling it, processing it, letting go, and then healing from it and moving on. Heartbreak was the pain, but it allowed me to open.

This pain that I am experiencing is such a powerful teacher. He hurt me so much. The pain that came from him leaving me for someone else made me go through a period of questioning my own worth. It made me wonder: how could someone I gave all of myself to and loved so deeply cause me so much pain? This questioning in my head led me to examine our relationship and see all the faults in it, and all the signs he showed me that he didn't value me in the way I had hoped he would. This pain helped me acknowledge all the parts of our relationship that didn't work, even though my heart didn't want to. This pain taught me what I don't want in a relationship, and what I do want.

I want someone who values me. Someone who won't question me. Someone who won't look at other girls while he had such a beautiful, loyal girl right next to him. Someone who doesn't give me false promises and hopes.

My heartbreak is also reminding me of how strong I am. Even though my heart is aching so much, it is still beating. It is still beating despite the fact that it lost connection with someone it thought was vital to its existence. My heart is still beating. I am still going on. Even though I couldn't picture a life without him. I am living proof that I never needed him in the first place in order to truly enjoy life. I am still living on without him.

As I am currently processing the pain and letting it go, I know that I am opening myself to a loving connection that will be better for me. To be honest, the heartbreak hurt so much to the point where I couldn't go numb to it. I couldn't ignore it anymore. And because I finally acknowledged the hurt, I realized that this is just a part of life. This pain is the risk that comes with loving another on a deep level because there is always a chance they will leave you.

But, even though it hurts, I will never let it prevent me from opening up to love again. He didn't value me. Why should I let his actions prevent me from opening up to love with someone who WILL value me? Why should I let this experience of him leaving me to prevent me from finding someone who will not leave me?

This is why heartbreak is beautiful. I learned all these powerful lessons from a place of hurt in my heart. Instead of letting this hurt close off my heart, I can allow it to open my heart. I refuse to let this be the end of the love story of my life.