I know I mean nothing to you. Tell me something I don’t know. It was that ‘quick and dirty so I don’t get attached to you type of thing’ because you’re scared and it’s always going to be that way with you isn’t it? Rough hands on sweaty skin, quick and meaningless conversation before you say all you want to do tonight is hook up and have a very forced friendship only holding together by a thread. You can’t even look me in the eyes unless it’s by accident because I’ve caught you staring. Is it because you’re scared or weak? There is a major difference and I’m so tired of being a choice in your eyes.

This isn’t even who you are. Before now, you were never constantly drunk and you were never always high. You never treated me like this before, so tell me why it’s come to this. You used to have this charming glow and bright smile and now I never see you laugh unless you’re drunk. There even was once a time when you told me all your little secrets and now you barely give me a single sentence.

Please, don’t act like you forgot about me. You turned my whole world upside down, I used to write about the stars and how they reminded me of you because they were so bright and always there at night when I looked up. But now I’m writing about you because you snapped my heart in half as though I was a little twig beneath your feet. You could at least say you’re sorry for the hell you put me through.

I gave you my all. My time, my patience, my kindness, myself. All you did was screw me over because I became your prize instead of your friend. You showed me off like a new toy. As though you were saying “look who I have and you don’t.” How cruel. Did all our time mean absolutely nothing to you because I’m not just going to forget our talks. You told me about your first kiss and first time and why you started drinking. Even told me about why you like to fish because nobody can hurt you out there. All about your family and even told me that I was special. I can’t just forget that. How can you?

I’m so sick of this. Sick and tired of seeing you at parties absolutely wasted and having to drive you home when we both know quite well that I shouldn’t be driving. I want the real you back. Not this drunk jerk that I’ve had to deal with recently. I want you...the real you. The guy that can kiss me with actual purpose. The man that cares about more than for just quick sex. The guy that used to tell me all about his day and have real conversations with me. Not this artificial, drunk, high and sad crap. You need to open your eyes because I can’t keep waiting around for you.

I’ve got my own life and my own story and my own things to accomplish. I can’t stop for you. I just can’t. Now I could say you’ve wasted my summer, but you haven’t. I wouldn’t take it back and I wouldn’t regret it because you gave me what I wanted just for that little time.