It is often the positive memories that we have of our significant others that prevent us from escaping toxic relationships. These memories can make us blind to unhealthy, abusive, and self-degrading forms of love. Sometimes we are oblivious to emotionally corrosive relationships. We cover up our happiness with stubborn hope and determination.
However, what a lot of us do not realize is that we simply prolong our pain and increase the damage the longer we stay. Someone who continues to fight a losing battle against an abusive relationship is a person who never allows their wounds to heal properly. They are cut once, the cut scabs over, the scab rips open again, but the victim remains indifferent. They place a Band-Aid on the cut, but never treat the infection. Every time they place Band-Aids over the open wound, while they may temporarily speed up the healing process and protect the wound from external damage, the internal damage cannot disappear on its own. The infection continues to fester and grow until it becomes untreatable, because it was ignored for so long. When it is finally treated, it leaves behind a nasty scar that will never fade. It is a reminder of the person's delusional optimism.
In other words, you should not be negligent; do not ignore the signs of carelessness or pain. It is perfectly reasonable to grieve over what could have been, but do not let your reservations prohibit you from moving on. Some people will only walk into your life in order to teach you lessons. There are certain people who are not meant to stay by your side. Cherish the good memories of those who have hurt you, but remember that biases from the past should never guarantee a second chance. It may hurt to let go of a future that someone promised you once upon a time, but empty words have no value. Trust in the knowledge that you are doing what is best for yourself. Never stay with someone out of obligation or guilt; that is how resentment forms. If someone is ungrateful, abusive, or unfaithful, do not waste your effort trying to change them. You cannot force someone to change for the better; they must want to change on their own. Do not waste your time pining over the ways in which they deviated from their true selves. Do not waste your tears on the love they tore away when you did nothing wrong. Do not wait around for a genuine apology when every other one was meaningless. This is easier said than done, but you are worth more than that pain, that heart ache, that temptation to run back to what is familiar.
You need to respect yourself over anyone else, regardless of how intimidating and agonizing it is to leave someone you love. A true partner will reciprocate all that you have to give. They will bring out your best personality traits, instead of leaving you vulnerable to your greatest weaknesses. They will be loyal, and never think about jeopardizing your trust. Be with someone who loves you for you, someone who puts the pieces of your heart back together, rather than breaking them apart.
