While conversing with a dear friend of mine about the struggles and hurt I have endured, I was taught about telling myself "my truths". I came to realize what a beautiful and unique form of healing this was.
What I mean by this is when one is hurting deep down, the pain is often caused by insecurities, lies, doubt, or other negative ideas that do not come from God. These messed up constructs create false ideas in one's mind, spiraling them into a deep depression filled with self-loathing. This pit of despair is hard to get out of alone.
You need to tell yourself your truths.
Your truths are categorized as the many positive things that make you, you. While many people may struggle to understand the truth about themselves, these are some universal truths that everyone needs to acknowledge to keep themselves afloat.
1. I am worthy of respect.
No matter who you are, what you've done, or what your future holds, you are still a human and are worthy of respect. Tell this to yourself daily. Repeat it when you feel disrespected by someone else or certain circumstances. This will help you remember your place in this world.
While others may say, believe, or tell you that you are not worthy of respect, you are worthy. Nobody can take this away from you unless you let them. Remembering this can help you recognize when you are being wronged, and allow you to acknowledge that the damage which has been done or said is not something that you have to accept. It is not something you deserve. It is harmful.
Remind yourself you are worthy of being treated with respect by anyone, and anyone that cannot submit to this is not someone you need around.
2. I am smart.
This may seem controversial to you, but it is true. Everyone is intelligent, and it seems that these days the world wants to make you feel like you are not.
Everybody beats themselves up from time to time, believing that because they failed at something, did not know particular information, or because they couldn't accomplish something, then that makes them dumb. This is simply not the truth. This is a lie fed to you by the enemy. It is a parasite waiting to drain you of joy.
You cannot let circumstances, lackings, or other people bring you down. There is so much that you can do, so why focus on the little thing that you struggled to do? Do not allow another person's perception of what is "unintelligent" to define you. You are smart.
Stupidness should be seen as a form of emotion. Not as much as a feeling, but more as a characteristic one feels or has for a moment, instead of representing something that they are. One may have acted unintelligently or made a not-so-smart decision, but that does not make them an unintelligent person, just like you would hope your poor decisions do not make you a stupid person forever. It is healthier to acknowledge that everyone struggles with different things. And sometimes it is harder for someone to see things the way someone else sees them.
That is the difference between understanding others instead of making judgments. So I will say it again, you are not dumb or unintelligent or stupid or anything else like that; you are so incredibly, amazingly smart.
3. Others do not define me.
Like the previous explanation, what another person thinks, hears, tells you, or says about you does not make it true. To quote my amazing mother, "If someone told you, 'You are a car', that doesn't make you a car". This seemingly silly quote has stuck with me because of its relevance to this exact topic. No matter what anyone tries to say about you, that does not make it true.
It may hurt a lot to know or hear of lies others may spread or believe about you, but to remind yourself of who you really are: a kind, caring, genuine, and intelligent person, is one way to keep your sanity amidst the other cruel falsehoods. Do not let others speak false claims over you. You are who you are, and be content with that.
Once you begin to speak these truths over yourself you will begin to believe these things. Even if you do not believe them now, continue to speak them over yourself. Over time they will become easier to believe.
Once you are confident in these truths, others will begin to recognize them too. So do this for you, when you are hurting and don't like the person that you are, remember to tell yourself these three truths along with any others that you wish to add to your list.