How To Heal From The Heartbreak

How To Heal From The Heartbreak

It's okay not to be okay.

One of the most important lessons I've learned during college is to accept the aspects of life that are out of your control.

When you’re given the opportunity to make your own choices, believing that the decisions we make are permanent tends to be easier than acknowledging just how many moments and plans are temporary. Even when you feel confident with yourself and your environment, change comes swiftly and without warning, especially during your first year of freedom on your own.

My friend and I were experiencing the downside of our new independence when we both got our hearts broken by people we never expected to lose so soon. So many relationships aren’t meant to be forever, and neither one of us felt particularly confident about whether things would last beyond college. Nonetheless, we’d fallen in love for the first time and struggled with understanding how necessary the pain was in becoming the people we were meant to be.

In the process of trying to accept that our futures no longer involved the people we cared about so deeply, we were desperate for the lonely company of one another. More often than not, she’d spend the night at my dorm during weekends my roommate was away. We’d laugh over jokes and take care of each other during the moments where our heartbreak would get the best of us.

The weekend before exams was a particularly hard time; we were expected to transition from a regular homework schedule to studying for finals while preparing to leave our dorm lives behind. We also couldn’t forget that within our first year of Grand Valley were memories neither of us were ready to let go of yet.

We knew that leaving would only prepare us for 3 more years of adventures yet to be had, smiles we still haven’t shared, and memories we’ll never forget. But in that moment, we couldn’t seem to focus on anything except how the pain was affecting us. I knew I had to do something; we were both about to head home for the summer, and I needed one last spontaneous adventure with someone who was okay with embracing their sadness for a little while.

I missed my city; the one that raised me and taught me so much about culture, life, and love. I hated how whenever I walked among downtown streets, I could picture us laughing and taking pictures like the way things used to be. I used to love how whenever he walked down the street, the city felt so new to him; it always made me feel like I was experiencing Grand Rapids for the first time. Now, I couldn’t help but feel sad whenever I’d circle street corners because of too many nostalgic memories associated with them.

I knew my friend felt the same way, so I decided we were going to take our city back by creating new memories to replace the old ones. Together, we got in my beaten up car and I handed her the aux cord, knowing that the best way to fix a broken heart is music you can relate to.

When she asked where we were going, I just smiled and let her experience the world for what it was. We both spent so long trying to demand things from the future that I just wanted her to enjoy the moment rather than expect it.

I headed towards a highway that never failed to make me admire Grand Rapids and noticed my friend eagerly watching cars pass by her window, paying attention to the green exit signs and reading the names of the towns attached to them as if any destination was within reach if we were willing to drive there. She turned the music up, letting Post Malone fill the speakers and for the first time in a while, I saw her real smile; the one we both thought had been stolen. I could tell she was just as surprised, but we were grateful it was a step in the right direction.

As the number of highway lanes increased and we got closer to downtown, I unrolled the window of my car down to just let her live. Her hair flailed out the window as the cold night air took away the negative feelings and suddenly, we were surrounded by a gorgeous view of the city. There were thousands of lights among buildings that looked like stars in contrast with the darkness of the night sky.

We gazed over buildings we knew so well that we could point them out by the shapes of their shadows alone, remembering how to see Grand Rapids with the same breathtaking beauty we used to. There was something about the way the pavement of the highway rumbled while we drove fast combined with the heavy bass vibrations of our favorite music that made us feel like even if things never got better, at least for right now they were okay.

I took a deep breath, inhaling the summer air and feeling a lot lighter than before we left. Once we got off the highway and began driving through the downtown streets, my friend turned to me and thanked me for helping her take her mind off of things. I knew that what she needed wasn’t false hope that everything would be fine because maybe it wouldn’t be, so instead, I gave her an opportunity to heal by falling in love with a view that would never leave her.

I feel like lonely souls are the ones who understand each other best because they’re smart enough to know that sometimes you just need someone to tell you that it’s okay not to be okay.

I’m still thankful for that trip for making me realize just how many different ways there are to heal. Sometimes, the road to a positive future is as simple as learning to appreciate the world that exists around you and reminding yourself how many other reasons there are to be content with your life. While I still get hurt when I hear his name or find old pictures in my camera, at least I’m doing what I can to find happiness in things that aren’t him.

Experiencing a breakup is allowed to hurt, and yes, you’re allowed to miss them while you’re at it. But eventually, there will be a time where you’ll know you have to move on. When that moment arrives, don’t hold yourself back, especially when the change is inevitable. Instead, figure out what you need from yourself to push through. Strive to be a better version of you!

While there’s no guarantee you’ll find someone else, there is always a guarantee that happiness will find its way back to you again if you’re willing to accept it.

Cover Image Credit: NWWWS

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35 Major Life Facts According To Nick Miller

"All booze is good booze, unless it's weak booze."

Fact: If you watch "New Girl," you love Nick Miller.

You can't help it. He's an adorable, lovable mess of a man and you look forward to seeing him and his shenanigans each week. While living the infamous and incomparable life of Nick Miller, and obviously Julius Pepperwood— he has learned many valuable laws of the land. And, although Nick refuses to learn anything from anyone besides his mysterious, old Asian friend Tran, he does have a few lessons he'd like to teach us.

Here are 35 facts of life according to 'Nick Milla Nick Milla':

1. Drinking keeps you healthy.

"I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer."

2. Dinosaurs never existed.

"I don't believe dinosaurs existed. I've seen the science. I don't believe it."

3. A paper bag is a bank.

"A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls."

4. Having sex is similar to delivering mail.

"I'm like a mailman, except instead of mail it's hot sex that I deliver."

5. Moonwalking is a foolproof way to get out of any awkward situation.

Jess (about Nick): "Now he won't even talk to me. I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me. He does that sometimes."

6. Using a movie reference is also a great way.

Cece: "Come on, get up!"

Nick: "No, I don't dance. I'm from that town in "Footloose."

7. There's no reason to wash towels.

Nick: "I don’t wash the towel. The towel washes me. Who washes a towel?"

Schmidt: "You never wash your towel?"

Nick: "What am I gonna do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?"

8. Exes are meant to be avoided at all costs (especially if/unless they're Caroline)

"I don't deal with exes, they're part of the past. You burn them swiftly and you give their ashes to Poseidon."

9. IKEA furniture is not as intimidating as it looks.

"I'm building you the dresser. I love this stuff. It's like high-stakes LEGOs."

10. You don't need forks if you have hands.

Jess: "That's gross. Get a fork, man."

Nick: "I got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms!"

11. Sex has a very specific definition.

"It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut."

12. Doors are frustrating.

"I will push if I want to push! Come on! I hate doors!"

13. All booze is good booze.

"Can I get an alcohol?"

14. ...unless it's weak booze.

"Schmidt, that is melon flavored liquor! That is 4-proof! That is safe to drink while you're pregnant!"

15. Writers are like pregnant women.

Jess: "You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus."

Nick: "I can top that easily. I'm having a hard time with my zombie novel."

Jess: "Are you really comparing a zombie novel to my ability to create life?"

Nick: "I'm a writer, Jess. We create life."

16. All bets must be honored.

"There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson. I lost a bet to Schmidt."

17. Adele's voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

"Adele is amazing."

18. Beyoncé is extremely trustworthy.

"I'd trust Beyoncé with my life. We be all night."

19. Fish, on the other hand, are not.

“Absolutely not. You know I don’t trust fish! They breathe water. That's crazy!"

20. Bar mitzvahs are terrifying.

Schmidt: "It's a bar mitzvah!"

Nick: "I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised!"

21. are blueberries.

Jess: "So far, Nick Miller's list of fears is sharks, tap water, real relationships..."

Nick: "And blueberries."

22. Take your time with difficult decisions. Don't be rash.

Jess: "You care about your burritos more than my children, Nick?"

Nick: "You're putting me in a tough spot!"

23. Getting into shape is not easy.

"I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less donuts."

24. We aren't meant to talk about our feelings.

"If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called talkings."

25. We're all a little bit too hard on ourselves.

"The enemy is the inner me."

26. Freezing your underwear is a good way to cool off.

"Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing. I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you."

27. Public nudity is normal.

"Everbody has been flashed countless times."

28. Alcohol is a cure-all.

"You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol."

29. Horses are aliens.

"I believe horses are from outer-space."

30. Turtles should actually be called 'shell-beavers.'

Jess: "He calls turtles 'shell-beavers."

Nick: "Well, that's what they should be called."

31. Trench coats are hot.

"This coat has clean lines and pockets that don't quit, and it has room for your hips. And, when I wear it, I feel hot to trot!"

32. Sparkles are too.

"Now, my final bit of advice, and don't get sensitive on this, but you've got to change that top it's terrible and you've got to throw sparkles on. Sparkles are in. SPARKLES ARE IN."

33. Introspection can lead to a deeper knowing of oneself.

"I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words."

34. It's important to live in the moment.

"I know this isn't gonna end well but the middle part is gonna be awesome."

35. Drinking makes you cooler.

Jess: "Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing."

Nick: "That's the only thing in the world I know to be true."

Cover Image Credit: Hollywood Reporter

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The Zodiac Signs As Bath And Body Works Scents

Just in case you want to know what scent you are!

Bath and Body Works fans could be considered to be part of a cult. The scents draw you in as if calling your name, if you ever
wondered what your scent should be based on your zodiac sign, here it is!

Aries: Country Apple

The rather impulsive Aries takes their time picking and choosing the scents from Bath and Body Works. The soothing scent of a fresh apple orchard is just what they need on a daily basis to keep up with their shenanigans.

Taurus: Japanese Cherry Blossom

The personality of a Taurus is stubborn, or what I like to say, is stuck in their ways. When they first discovered this scent in middle school, this was it. This is the only scent you will find anywhere around a Taurus.

Libra: Pink Chiffon

Pink Chiffon is another cult classic. This best selling scent went out of style for a hot second but is back and bigger than ever.

Leo: Thousand Wishes

Thousand Wishes is a purr-fect scent for a Leo. The light scent adornes the wearer just the right amount to get the desired reaction from those around them.

Aquarius: Be Enchanted

The rather cold personality of an Aquarius is counteracted by the loving scent of Be Enchanted. The scent is just enough tenderness for the wearer to be relaxed.

Gemini: Moonlight Path

Gemini's constantly change their favorite scent and are in and out of the store almost weekly to by new lotions, candles, and body washes. You will never see a full empty bottle of anything, however, Moonlight Path is the scent they keep coming back to again and again.

Virgo: Sea Island Cotton

The clean personality of a Virgo must be matched with the clean scent of Sea Island Cotton.

Capricorn: Cucumber Melon

Another clean scent of Cucumber Melon is the exact thing a Capricorn needs. The balance and calming scents are what make this scent so attractive to a Capricorn.

Scorpio: Paris Amour

The light scent is what you would expect from an extreme sign like a Scorpio. The scent lightly washes over the wearer in almost a cloud that

Sagittarius: Cashmere Glow

Cashmere Glow is a perfect scent for the winter sign. The vanilla and golden peach scent is just the mixture that creates the perfect accessory in the chilly months.

Pisces: Warm Vanilla Sugar

This lovely scent accentuates the lovely personality of a Pisces. They can never get enough of this scent so they just keep buying and buying until they have a full stockpile.

Cancer: Velvet Sugar

Velvet Sugar is the perfect blend of red velvet and strawberries and a Cancer is always changing their mind. The wearer can tell if it is a more red velvet or strawberry kind of day, and that is the balance that they need in their lives.

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