I hate rejection. Being rejected is one of my biggest fears, so, naturally, I avoid conversations that could increase my chances of being rejected. With that being said, no matter how bad I want to define a relationship, the "what are we" conversation is one I avoid.
But, it's time to stop avoiding this dreaded conversation because it becomes miserable when you really like someone but don't know if you're wasting your time or if the two of you are actually building something. So I'm giving you 5 reasons you should have this conversation and define your relationship.
1. For confirmation.
Before actually having the "what are we" conversation, keep in mind that most people who want to have this conversation have it because they know that deep down the relationship is more casual than serious. Trust your instincts because you know the answer to this question way before you ask it, but it doesn't hurt to confirm what you already know.
2. Because keeping it casual doesn't last long.
Everyone knows after spending a lot of time with someone and becoming sexually involved with them, someone is going to catch feelings. Instead of trying to avoid how you feel or act like it's just a casual friendship that involves sex, talk to him. Tell him how you feel; you need clarity, so ask him what the two of you are.
3. You don't want to waste your time.
Time is a terrible thing to waste, so don't waste it on someone who only wants sex or deals with you at their convenience or doesn't see you as anything more than a short-term partner. Not all relationships will work out, but don't waste your time on someone you know will never give you the commitment that you want.
4. You care, so act like it.
When you're dealing with someone and you're not really sure where the relationship is going, it is easy to try to hide your feelings, but don't. You care, and if he doesn't care about you as much as you care about him, his loss.
5. You deserve to be with someone who wants the same things as you.
If you just want sex, cool. Just be friends with benefits, but if you want more than that, you have to tell him. You deserve to be with someone who wants you as much as you want him. If he doesn't want anything serious, then you deserve to know. You don't deserve to get your feelings played with. Have the "what are we" conversation, figure out what the two of you are doing, and if you two aren't on the same page, then let him go and find someone who really wants to be with you.
