What It's Like To Have A Sibling With A Huge Age Gap

What It's Like To Have A Sibling 14 Years Older Than You

While I consider my brother and I pretty close, I do know that we're not as close as we could be.

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1997 was an interesting year.

Princess Diana passed, "Harry Potter" was published, the Packers won the Super Bowl... And I just so happened to be born. While everyone's birth is special in their own regard. Whether you enjoy your birthday or not, mine was particularly special since I wasn't planned. And by that, I mean really not planned.

My parents were in their forties and my brother was a freshman in high school.

And, of course, my dad had white hair already. So a lot of people thought that he was my grandfather and that my brother was my dad. That mainly happened as I got older, though, when my brother was still in the house.

While I wouldn't change the way a lot of things are, I have a few complaints about my family being so much older...

I feel like I'm being cheated in the sense that I won't have a lot of time with my parents. Yes, no matter how long your time with your parents is, it'll never feel like enough. However, I feel like the opportunity to really utilize that time with my family will be cut short and that's not fair.

All that aside, the main premise of this article is this: I wish I was closer with my brother. Because of our age difference, we are at two different points on life's timeline. He's 35 now and pretty set in his life. He's constantly busy with work, so I don't want to text him and feel like I'm being bothersome. I'm just a kid in college and he has his life together. Sometimes, I feel as if my issues wouldn't be important compared to the severity of what his might be.

I constantly feel like I need to tip-toe and I shouldn't have to feel that way. No matter how stupid the conversation, I should be able to talk to my brother. I really do think it's mainly the age difference between us that changes things. I feel like if he was a little closer to my age, I wouldn't feel as nervous to bother him.

I don't know. I've been doing better with communicating, but I could still work on it. I talk to my parents every day, why not my brother?

While I know he'd do anything for me, it's still hard to talk to him about some things. I wouldn't even know how to ask him for dating advice (even though he's definitely been way more successful at it than me). Sometimes my dad won't cut it. (Yes, I talk to my dad about boys instead of my mom, but that's a whole 'nother story.) I've asked him for bar recommendations, so why not ask him about taxes?

It's a weird situation because of my delayed arrival. I feel cheated, overly quiet, and complacent, and that's not fair to me. It's definitely not fair to my family.

Talk to your family, especially your siblings. Let them know what's going on because one day, they won't be around to tell.

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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My Mom Is My Biggest Weakness In The Best Way Possible

Although my mom is still my parent, she's also a friend.

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My parents are everything to me. They raised me to be independent, strong, smart, and hard working. They made sure to keep me in line, to ensure that I would be respectful and responsible. They raised me to be prepared for the world before I graduated high school. For everything they've done, I'm very grateful.

Focusing on my mom more specifically, she is my weakness. By that I mean, I can go to her with anything and I know she's willing to listen, to be open, and she won't impart judgment.

My mom always knows how to calm me down, but she is the one person who can also make me cry harder. I don't mean this in a bad way. It's just that whenever I've had a tough day or my anxiety has been heightened by some ordeal, I know that if I see my mom or if I even call her over the phone, the waterworks come flooding. I don't know what it is about my mom that makes me feel so emotional, so vulnerable. Each time I go to her, it's almost as if I'm a kid again, crawling into her mother's arms, seeking a nurturing soul to tell me that everything will be okay.

Sometimes I even avoid calling my mom when I'm in a rut because I refuse to cry or feel weak. For instance, if I had a problem, I'd avoid talking to her about it. If a week goes by, I'll update her on my problems, and begin crying about it (even though I was already over it beforehand). My mom can bring out anything from me. She laughs when I tell her this because she knows that no matter how old her baby girl gets, she'll always need her mama.

I think as I've gotten older, I've realized how much more my parents mean to me. As a kid, I always felt like they were against me. I felt as if they didn't want me to do anything and didn't want me to grow. As an adult, I realize it's the exact opposite. My parents have always wanted what's best for me, and because I've grown to understand this, I feel so much closer to them.

I feel as though now, although my mom is still my parent, she's also a friend. She's someone I can go to when I feel down, someone I can go to for a good laugh. She's so much better than me in so many ways. She's outgoing, loud, obnoxious, smart, and is always seeing the good in situations. When I talk about my mom to other people, they're always so interested in meeting with her or talking with her. When they finally get the chance to, they're instantly drawn to her character. They're drawn to her laughter. I kid you not, my mom can light up a room in seconds. She is always the life of the party. It sometimes makes me jealous when people find out how amazing my mother is because I swear they'd rather be friends with her than me.

What people don't see is her struggles. They don't see the pain she goes through with her ongoing injury. They don't see that not only does it take a physical toll, but also an emotional toll. She hides it really well because that's what parents are "supposed to do." My mom is the strongest person I know and to see the two contrasts of her is astonishing. To think that someone so full of life can also battle personal struggles, it's hard to see, especially because she's my mom and all I want is the best for her. One part of my mom struggles while the other part of her is so vibrant, so full of life, so sassy.

I don't know how she's put up with all of the hardships in her life. I've never seen someone work so hard and refuse to fail. She refuses to be taken advantage of. I've never seen someone as amazing as my mother. She can do anything.

I think my mom looks down on herself sometimes. I think, like any woman, she sees imperfections. What I don't think she sees, that I wish she would, is the tenacity she has. I want her to see herself the way I do: beautiful, strong, courageous, sassy, outgoing. I could go on and on about how much my mom inspires me and how she's made me appreciate her in more ways than one.

Mom, thank you for all that you do and all that you are. I hope you know how much Rachel, Vanessa and I all love you. I hope you know that no matter what struggles we go through, you are our rock. You hold the fort down and you're always there to make sure we're good, even when you aren't yourself. Thank you for always thinking of us, for believing in us, and for never turning your back. I love you more than you know.

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