What It's Like To Have A Sibling 14 Years Older Than You

What It's Like To Have A Sibling 14 Years Older Than You

While I consider my brother and I pretty close, I do know that we're not as close as we could be.

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1997 was an interesting year.

Princess Diana passed, "Harry Potter" was published, the Packers won the Super Bowl... And I just so happened to be born. While everyone's birth is special in their own regard. Whether you enjoy your birthday or not, mine was particularly special since I wasn't planned. And by that, I mean really not planned.

My parents were in their forties and my brother was a freshman in high school.

And, of course, my dad had white hair already. So a lot of people thought that he was my grandfather and that my brother was my dad. That mainly happened as I got older, though, when my brother was still in the house.

While I wouldn't change the way a lot of things are, I have a few complaints about my family being so much older...

I feel like I'm being cheated in the sense that I won't have a lot of time with my parents. Yes, no matter how long your time with your parents is, it'll never feel like enough. However, I feel like the opportunity to really utilize that time with my family will be cut short and that's not fair.

All that aside, the main premise of this article is this: I wish I was closer with my brother. Because of our age difference, we are at two different points on life's timeline. He's 35 now and pretty set in his life. He's constantly busy with work, so I don't want to text him and feel like I'm being bothersome. I'm just a kid in college and he has his life together. Sometimes, I feel as if my issues wouldn't be important compared to the severity of what his might be.

I constantly feel like I need to tip-toe and I shouldn't have to feel that way. No matter how stupid the conversation, I should be able to talk to my brother. I really do think it's mainly the age difference between us that changes things. I feel like if he was a little closer to my age, I wouldn't feel as nervous to bother him.

I don't know. I've been doing better with communicating, but I could still work on it. I talk to my parents every day, why not my brother?

While I know he'd do anything for me, it's still hard to talk to him about some things. I wouldn't even know how to ask him for dating advice (even though he's definitely been way more successful at it than me). Sometimes my dad won't cut it. (Yes, I talk to my dad about boys instead of my mom, but that's a whole 'nother story.) I've asked him for bar recommendations, so why not ask him about taxes?

It's a weird situation because of my delayed arrival. I feel cheated, overly quiet, and complacent, and that's not fair to me. It's definitely not fair to my family.

Talk to your family, especially your siblings. Let them know what's going on because one day, they won't be around to tell.

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To My Boyfriend's Mom

He loves you more than you could ever imagine...
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Without you, there would not be a him, so first things first, thank you.

1. Thank you for teaching him to love a woman the right way, to put God first, and YOU before me always, the respect he shows you is so attractive, and you deserve it.

He talks about you like you hung the moon, I don't doubt for a second that he will be an amazing father one day, I owe all of that to you.

2. Thank you for giving me a chance, learning to love me when you knew your son was doing the same.

I can't speak for my own first impressions, but hopefully mine was not THAT bad...when we both slapped him on the arms for his rude remark at the same time, I knew our relationship was already blossoming.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

3. Thank you for every meal you have ever purchased me.

And chocolate, and candy...you know just as well as your son does that food is the way to my heart. Especially Taco Bell and cheesecake ;)

4. Thank you for your advice, suggestions, and opinions...and asking for mine

Whether it's telling me to slap him for being a smart a$$, or you're asking me about color swabs for your kitchen makeover, you come to me as if I am your own, and I am so honored to give you my own input.

5. Thank you for including me

You never fail to leave a spot for me, and I love family dinners/outings with you guys just as much as I love my own!

6. Thank you for teaching your son to never give up, and that if he does it is only to better himself, or it's the only choice he has left.

He is so focused on his future, he wants the best for himself, and he is constantly reminding me that these are things that YOU taught him, you deserve to be so proud.

7. Thank you for letting him love my family, and allowing me to love yours.

He is so loyal and loving to my family, and I don't even have to ask myself why because I see him with you and yours. Thank you for letting us double up on holidays when we can, and making sure we get the most out of our time with you!

8. Thank you for being his best friend.

I think of him as mine too, but I couldn't think of a better person to also hold that title, you know him better than anyone else and you always will.

9. Thank you for teaching him how to treat a woman

He is constantly telling me "You sound like my mother." Thankfully earlier in our relationship, he told me that the woman he wants to be with, should do just that. He always tells people who try, "No, no one calls me by my full name except my mom and my girlfriend."

10. Thank you for your honesty

We all know that he and I can drive you crazy sometimes, thank you for telling us like it is, and making sure we know you still love us anyways.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

11. Thank you for teaching him to work as hard as possible in anything and everything he does.

I have never met anyone with such a desire for success, he and I are constantly discussing how we can better our futures, and I know exactly where his drive comes from.

12. Thank you for teaching him to clean up after himself

Even though sometimes, it takes him a minute to do so.

13. Thank you for teaching him how to love, and letting him love me.

I have never felt so loved by a man, probably because anyone else who came into my life was just a boy. Thank you for your unconditional love for him, he is your entire heart and that is so easy to see, I am happy to share his with you.

You and I both know that even years from now we will both occasionally probably be closing the fridge that he left open, cleaning the crumbs he dropped, demanding he take a shower after playing soccer, or reminding him 20 times about plans we made weeks ago, we both share such a great love for such an amazing man. I could never be more thankful that you brought forth into this world such a comforting, supportive, protective, steadfast, driven, handsome, and hilarious guy. Thank you for everything you do for him, for me, and for us, I love you a lot!

Cover Image Credit: casey

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Thank You, Mom And Dad, For Staying Together Through It All

I hope one day I can find a love as strong as my parents so that my kids will never have to experience a broken home.

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Growing up, I always dreamt of finding my true love and having my fairy tale wedding when I was older. My parents gave me such faith from their relationship. They have been together since they were in high school and have never left each others' sides since. I have idolized their marriage since the day I was born and still continue to. I could not imagine going through life without both of them together. Many people in my hometown have divorced parents. It is not uncommon from where I come from, but I recognize how lucky I am. Sure my parents have their fights, even the one time they almost did get a divorce, but they didn't. And I am so grateful for that to this day.

Holidays are amazing. I don't mean to brag for the people who do have separated parents, but it is a privilege to be able to spend it together as a family. I don't have to choose where to spend the holidays or feel bad if I have to pick someone over the other. It isn't fair, and no one should have to do that. My parents have always and will continue to always put my sister and me first. I respect them for that. Even through all their issues, they manage to do whatever is in our best interest--even if that means staying together during hard times. No matter what, they always manage to work it out.

I get to experience life with both of them together. I know people who haven't talked to their dads or moms in years. They didn't go to their graduations— watch them walk across the stage and get their diploma. Their parents are missing out on so many important milestones in their life. I am so fortunate that my parents have always been by my side rooting for me. I couldn't even fathom the thought of them not being at such events or not even being remotely a part of my life. My parents are everything, and they are stronger together.

I have two opinions. I have two people in charge. When one says no, the other will say yes. I have two people to go to with problems at all times. They are accessible, they are there for me, they protect me. I may not agree with everything my dad says, but my mom will have my back on certain points and vice versa. We can work out our problems together. Nothing ever turns out biased when I have them both together. I wouldn't be able to do have the stuff I do with the support of just one parent.

With my parents together, I don't have to feel like I am a toy. I don't have to feel like I need to be shared or guilty I am spending more time with one and not the other. With my parents together, our family is whole. I know it is a privilege, and I am so grateful and lucky. I hope one day I can find a love as strong as my parents so that my kids will never have to experience a broken home. It isn't fair to put kids through something so stressful and saddening. My parents are amazing and I am beyond blessed to have parents that love each other and their kids immensely. Everything they do is for us. Thank you.

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