You hear this quote when the girl over there is hugging her best friend.

You see this quote on countless Instagram captions of best friends laughing.

To many, this quote is a celebration of friendship. However, to my high school self, this quote always created a pang of jealousy.

Don’t get me wrong, I had friends in high school. Actually, I had a lot of friends. However, I never found “my person”.

It seemed like everyone had someone they could tell all their secrets to, someone they could trust with anything. I was incredibly jealous. I wanted that person for myself. I did everything I could to find that person, but I just didn’t find what I was looking for.

Although that really upset me at the time, I have a different perspective now.

Not finding “my person” taught me some valuable lessons I would not have been able to learn otherwise and now, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Here are some of the valuable lessons I took away from this:

1. It’s OK to be alone

In high school, I wanted to be surrounded by people at all times. I wanted people to invite me places, I had severe FOMO, and I wanted to be wanted.

Not having a “person” made me desperate for attention and I would do anything to get it.

More recently, I’ve learned that alone time is something sacred. It’s a time to reflect and improve yourself. It’s a time to relax and unwind from a busy schedule.

Being alone isn’t bad. Sometimes, it’s exactly what you need.

2. Don't settle for less than you deserve

In my search to find my “person”, I accepted any attention I could get. I didn’t care if it was healthy attention, I just accepted it.

This led to some bad decisions and some really tough times in my life.

Even though those experiences were hard, I would not undo them. Through those experiences, I’ve realized my worth.

I’ve realized I don’t have to settle for any attention I can get. I don’t need to settle for anything less than I deserve, and I deserve more.

3. Good things come to those who wait

Before coming to college, I had finally given up on trying to find my “person”. I assumed that maybe I just didn’t have one.

The reality is I don’t have one. Since coming to college, I’ve found “my people”. I have a group of eight friends that I can confide in.

I am convinced every single one of them would risk their life for me, and I would do the same for them. All that stressing in high school was for nothing.

I just had to be patient and wait for my time to come.

4. Be your own “person”

Although I do have amazing friends, the single most valuable thing I learned in my search for my “person” was how to be my own.

I have learned that the most reliable person in my life is myself. I can’t change how others act, but I can change my own actions.

For so long, I was so lonely and angry at the world.

Recently, however, I’ve realized that my anger wasn’t at the world. It was at myself.

You cannot love someone else until you love yourself. So be your own “person”. Give yourself what you need and others will follow.