Looking back on my high school years, I realized that there's one phrase that sticks out quite a bit: I should have....
There is so much regret surrounding my time in high school. I remember feeling an intense jealousy whenever someone I knew played a sport I didn't, or traveled somewhere I wasn't able to go. When I look back and try to list all of the "cool" things I did, most of them come from my time in college. I compare my college experiences to my high school ones, and the difference is too drastic.
Obviously college is the time to experiment, explore, and have adventures. I get it. I just feel as though my life didn't really begin until I went to college and surrounded myself with people that challenge me and push me out of my comfort zone. And I am by no means saying that the experiences I had in college and the people I met were less important. This is by no means true.
I feel as though I started college a few steps behind everyone else. As a result, I've been trying to play catch-up. Which is how I developed FOMO. The Fear of Missing Out.
I've lived long enough to experience endings and changes. They do come, and they come quickly and unexpectedly. I look back on some things in my past fondly, but there is also a twinge of sadness, and a gnawing feeling that I didn't get all I could out of those experiences. So I'm trying to live my life with a "YOLO" mentality. I want to experience as much as I can. I am going to leave college and say with confidence that I made as many memories as I could.
That's all well and good, but there's just one problem: sometimes FOMO makes me try a little too hard. I am naturally extroverted, so I love spending time with people, but sometimes I overdo it a little bit. I schedule two or three things at the same time, and it seems that I spend more time rushing to the next thing rather than fully absorbing and developing the memories. I tried to do everything this year, and it was way too overwhelming for me.
So now I am faced with a challenge: curbing the FOMO without sacrificing my mental health. It is most definitely difficult. I've been trying to become more comfortable spending time alone, and I have come to really enjoy and cherish my alone time. But at the same time, I feel a tug of guilt that I'm spending my time on my own. It pulls me towards people, towards activities; it takes a stern talking to for me to ignore that feeling and be comfortable again.
The Fear of Missing Out is real. And I can say from personal experience that it's not easy to deal with. I've learned that it's extremely important to find the balance between spending time with others and spending time with yourself, but it is really necessary. What's the point of making memories if there is a cloud of stress and anxiety surrounding them?
