Loving Yourself Sometimes Means Putting Yourself First
Relationships

Loving Yourself Sometimes Means Putting Yourself First

Loving yourself isn’t treating yourself to ice cream or binging a Netflix marathon.

80
Loving Yourself Sometimes Means Putting Yourself First
Stocksy

“I love him.”

I don’t have enough fingers on my hands to count the times that I have heard this phrase come out of a friend’s mouth after getting her heart crushed by the same boy who has hurt her a million times. Regardless of how many times the boys have lied and even cheated, my friends have continued to love them endlessly and as much I want to say I don’t understand it, I do.

It is almost guaranteed that we can’t choose who we fall for. I mean of course we can choose who we get into a relationship with but often we can’t stop the process of falling for that person, especially after we entangle ourselves so deeply into their lives. That’s why it’s called falling, right? Because on the way down, you feel like you’re floating.

But what happens after that moment when you land? When your feet are firmly on the ground and it is no longer about falling in love but being in love? Why does no one talk about the moment when love, lust, and the honeymoon stage no longer cloud your vision and you’re able to see all the wrong that they have done?

Well for my friends, they just ignored it thinking that if they gathered enough water and set the room to the right temperature, the cloud would come back over their eyes. It didn’t. They were all left wondering where it went wrong. After really looking at the situation, I realized that if they go back to the beginning, they might realize that this probably started earlier on, before they even met them.

They might even realize it started with themselves.

You see, for my friends and probably many other people out there, it isn’t difficult to realize why someone isn’t right for you. The difficulty comes from letting go of that person especially after you’ve dedicated so much time and effort into making it work with them. There’s a solution to that though. It’s simple but not easy, it's one my friends ignored by putting themselves second. It won’t make letting go an easier, but it may make it more manageable. It’s realizing that by letting go of that toxic relationship, you’re nurturing an even greater relationship; the one with yourself. It's learning to love yourself.

Loving yourself isn’t treating yourself to ice cream or binging a Netflix marathon. Loving yourself is about reminding yourself that your needs come before the needs of others, especially when constantly losing yourself in others starts to take a toll on you. I don’t want you to read these words and think that no one will love you until you love yourself because that isn’t the case because there are people who look at you and see the whole universe in your smile.

Learning to love yourself is an ongoing lesson, one that you will be learning for the rest of your life. It’s taking time for yourself, stepping back and making sure you aren’t losing yourself to anything or anyone to the point that you become unrecognizable to yourself. Learning to love yourself means coming to hard conclusions and facing that fact that maybe they don’t love you if they are treating this way. It means making hard decisions and loving yourself enough to want only the best for your life. Learning to love yourself isn’t easy; it’s getting into a relationship with yourself and becoming completely attuned to your needs and what you deserve.

It may not be easy, but I promise it’ll be the best relationship you’ll ever have.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Everything You Need To Know About Macronutrients, Because A Diet Should Be More Than Calories

Pay attention to what you're eating, not just how much you're eating.

Plenty of people are familiar with the "calories in, calories out" (CICO) method of dieting which can be used for losing, gaining, or maintaining weight. This method relies on calculating a person's total daily energy expenditure (TDEE) to ensure that they are not overeating or undereating to achieve their desired weight. TDEE considers a person's height, weight, age, gender, and level of activity to determine what their caloric intake should be — some calculators can factor in body fat percentage as well. When I used a TDEE calculator online, it said that my TDEE would be 1,990 calories if I was trying to maintain my weight, but are all calories created equal? I'd argue that they're not.

It might seem obvious to some of you that 1,990 calories of macaroni and cheese are not healthy at all compared to 1,990 calories of varied foods (fruit, veggies, meat, bread, etc.).

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

Just Because You're Asked To Be In A Wedding, Doesn't Always Mean You Should Say Yes

If you can't invest time, money, and YOURSELF, maybe say no to the offer for the bride's sake!

Being in a wedding is a really big commitment. I personally think if you've never been in one before, you don't understand the time, money, and energy that goes into being a part of it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

If I Unfriend You During The 2020 Election, Yes, It's Personal

President Donald Trump and Joe Biden's plans for Black America matter.

The Black Lives Matter movements have sparked widespread conversations and protests across the nation. With justice not being served for the murders of innocent Black people like Breonna Taylor and absolutely no support from President Donald Trump, this upcoming election is quite important.

Keep Reading... Show less

Whether you're turning 18, 26, or 34, it is quite normal to find yourself looking for "Mr. Right" — or whichever title prefix relates to you. As someone who is in a similar situation, I've started forcing myself to become aware of my actions and decisions when it comes to any romantic interests — it hasn't been easy in the slightest!

Keep Reading... Show less

Whether you're in an unhealthy relationship currently, you know someone who is, or you just want to have these numbers saved just in case it could one day save someone's life (if not your own), this article is for you. Here are three numbers to save in your contacts ASAP so you can always be safe, both physically and mentally, in every relationship.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Dear Closeted Latina,

You were never alone.

Remember how the Latin world got rocked when Ricky Martin came out?

Keep Reading... Show less
Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

I'll admit it, when I first met you, I wasn't sure how well things were going to work out. Although I didn't know you that well at the time, we seemed to be opposites in almost every way. You were cool, edgy, and laid-back, and I was more awkward, goofy, and anxious.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Caribbean is a place where people go for vacation, but if you set out from a cruise ship you miss out on all the beautiful culture. Their exotic beaches are nothing without their zinging food and hospitality. Locals in the Caribbean are warmhearted with a zest to live life to the fullest.

This is exactly where most of their words and phrases come from, having a good time. I definitely enjoyed myself living in the Caribbean, but it's not always about lounging. They get work done too and I've learned proper phrases for accomplishments.

Keep Reading... Show less

It wasn't until I hit 23 years old that I started getting hangovers. It could've been from two glasses of wine or even a margarita at happy hour, the next day, consider me bed-bound until further notice.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

What's Coming To And Leaving Netflix In August For Your Summer Viewing Pleasure

Just in time for another your end of summer binge-watch list.

Flower Films, Warner Bros, New Line Cinema

August is here, which means we will be losing some of our Netflix favorites but gaining some new ones. Here is a list of TV shows and movies we will be losing and gaining on Netflix during August.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments