In 2008, my great grandmother "MaMaw" passed away.
On March 26, my PawPaw died after a short battle with dementia and the result of a stroke. It was a very trying time in my life and the lives of all who knew and loved him.
Recently, on June 6, my precious great "Aunt Pat" passed away.
The funeral services for all three of these extraordinary people were so touching. They all lived lives worthy of so much honor and dignity. They were people who truly loved the Lord and lived every day willing to give anything asked of them. They touched so many lives in their individual communities and around the globe. It was truly humbling to see the people who gathered around us as we grieved and heard the stories told by all who loved and knew these beautiful people.
My MawMaw was the most gentle, yet feisty woman, wrapped up in the tiniest little human body. She was always telling jokes or a funny story to get a rise out of someone. She was so kind and I remember how she always wanted me to sit right next to her or on the edge of her chair and we would just talk and laugh for hours. I remember going to her house and acknowledging the age that accepted me when I walked in the front door. It was a dainty house and always seemed to be in tip top shape. She had a little room in the back where all of us great grandkids would play; MaMaw always had something sweet made for us to enjoy. She lived a long life and dedicated it to the Lord. Her heart was devoted to people. I always loved all the letters she had written to people, as well as the ones she had received from others. I loved hearing stories about all the people she cherished. She was so proud of those she loved. I remember all of the grandkids would go into her guest bedroom when we visited because that is where she kept her hats, purses and a small portion of her jewelry. We sure did love to dress-up and play!
This picture was taken not long before MaMaw passed away. I remember at her funeral service, all of the great grands put on one of MawMaw's hats. Those hats reminded us of fun memories of MaMaw. They're something we still cherish and memories we will always take with us.
My mom's dad, my "PawPaw", was a man of few words some days and a rambler on others. Even on days where he didn't have much to say, he always knew how to make us laugh, make us feel pretty, and let us know how proud of us he was. I miss him a lot. Today, as I typed this, I got a half and half frosty from Wendy's and I'd given just about anything to "give him a bite of that". He loved sweet treats. He loved his grandkids, and he loved ball caps. Everywhere he went, he wore a trucker hat. I knew he had a lot, but wasn't sure how many, because when I was around he always had the same hat on. He didn't go out of the house without a hat unless it was to attend a fancier event, and even then he would usually wear one in the car and have it with him for when it was okay to put it back on. The caps he wore weren't just random ones he bought at a truck stop. They represented the people and things he loved most. He had a hat from the school my dad coaches at, one from my uncles school, a hat from a few different colleges the grandkids attended, several that had his business logo on them, an army hat, some that were given to him as a joke, some that represented places he had traveled to and a few to represent his favorite sport teams.
The day of his funeral, we all came back to Honey's house and found the box with all his hats. There were a lot more than I expected, but i wasn't surprised. Alongside his 21 gun salute shells and a lighter, we each took a hat. Those were some of the items that best represented our Pawpaw.
My Aunt Pat was the same way. Whenever we visited, she didn't have much to say but her smile was contagious (and she was always wearing one). She constantly let us know with words (written and spoken) that she was proud of us, and in her life she reminded us how important our relationships were. I will always cherish cards she gave me reminding me to focus on my relationship with the Lord, stay focused, and know that she loved me and was so proud of me. Every time I visited my Aunt Pat, she was wearing a pair of slippers. They were usually a blue color, so I assumed it was the same pair every time, but as we gathered at her house last night after her funeral, I learned that not only did she have one blue pair she loved....she had 16 other pairs that were equally as worn. She loved slippers.
Last night, her sister-in-law and many of her nieces whom she loved so dearly all put on a pair of Pat's slippers. We wore them the rest of the night...just as she would have wanted us to.
As I reminisce on these three life-altering events, I think to myself.."what is my 'thing'". What is the one thing that represents my life in such a way, people associate me with it. Will it be books or letters or words or shoes (because I have a bit of an obsession)? I wonder what that one thing will be that people remember me with when I am gone. Each of these people left something so special behind when they passed. They meant so much to our family, and to be able to have something tangible to remember them by is and always will be so precious to me. I'd like to think when I die my children and grands and maybe even great grands will remember me by the way I loved them and other people just as I remember about these people who are so dear to me. They each loved in a special way, and to have something that meant so much to them to carry with me makes grief a little easier.
I challenge you to think about your "thing". Is it money? Is it things, clothes, candy bars, a certain type of gum etc..? What do people associate you with, and when you die is that enough for you? Will they remember the way you loved people and always wore slippers or will they wish they had known you better or that you worked less and had a hectic high maintenance life?
I encourage you to find your thing and use it to make memories with those around you. Over the past 8 years in losing my Mawmaw and the past three months losing two more very special people, I've learned how precious and fleeting life is. It's short and you don't get any past time back. Spend what time you're given wisely. Make memories. Laugh a lot. Share your treasures with those you love, so when you are gone they will know what made you YOU and be able to hold onto it forever.
