For some of us, college is an experience we won’t forget because of, well, you know, having a roommate. It’s hard enough to be on your own for the first time in a brand new world, and, unfortunately, you have someone who makes you never want to step foot on your college campus ever again. You feel they are always riding down your back, and they make you want to eat ice cream (or scream).
It’s almost not fair to yourself to allow someone who you are best friends with to live with you (shocker) because you feel too obligated to be their friend (which can be a good thing, but let's not overdo it). Of course, all roommates have their ups and downs, but clearly being happy is the most important part of a college experience. My mother asked me recently if I was truly happy in college, and my roommate obviously became a reason I am not happy. My mother told me I should not let my roommate ruin the experience of college for me, and that a discussion with my roommate was needed.
After a heart-to-heart talk, and several tissues later, my roommate seemed to understand (somewhat) the points I was trying to make. However, lately (maybe unfortunately), I feel that my roommate and I are slowly growing apart from what we used to be, and, honestly, I am perfectly OK with that. In the end, there is only so much my patience and I can tolerate.
This list comes from experience.
1. Be caring, but not too caring.
Meaning be a good and active listener when needed and take their feelings into consideration, and actually apply them in your everyday interactions with your roommate.
2. Be willing to lend a helping hand.
College students may really need all the help they can get. Just don’t go overboard; if you do, you’ll psych yourself out and possibly psych your roommate out more.
3. Understand that your roommate is not your guardian.
Being a good roommate includes being a good friend while also knowing that no matter how much they voice the opinions they have, your personal values and beliefs will never change until you realize things for yourself. Your roommate is not your parent, and they will never be. You should not feel like they are constantly controlling what you do or what you eat (Why would you want someone constantly warning you about how much soda you drink? It’s college; we need caffeine). Suggestions from your roommate can and will happen, but when you are constantly feeling belittled by their remarks, there is a problem.
4. For the sake and love of each other, quit complaining.
It is hard to go a day without complaining, and the concept of only hearing compliments not complaints does not always work. For someone who has a roommate who constantly complains, I am forced to block it out the best I can (or make a remark about how she should probably stop complaining). Unfortunately, my roommate has a completely different definition of complaining than I do (but seriously, whining is not cute at any age for anyone). One day, I hope her thankfulness for life will reflect from within and make her realize that complaining does no good for anything.
What matters most is who you get along with, and life is too short to not be happy with who you live with.
