I Hate The Phrase Mr. Mom Because In An Ideal World Both Parents Would Have Equal Responsiblity

I Hate The Phrase Mr. Mom Because In An Ideal World Both Parents Would Have Equal Responsiblity

"We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future." - President Franklin D. Roosevelt


In one of the first articles I wrote for Odyssey, I mentioned that the phrase "Mr. Mom" had been used to describe my dad, it annoyed me, and I would discuss it at a later day. Well, my dudes, today is the day.

A "Mr. Mom", as far as I can tell, is when the father of a child is the stay-at-home parent and does most of the housework such as cooking and cleaning. They are the primary parent who takes their kid to the doctor when they get sick suddenly and are the person who gets asked for homework help the most. But to all the "Mr. Moms" out there, I hate to tell you, but there is in fact already a word to describe you. It's called being a dad.

Just because you too can make a grilled cheese sandwich and you're a guy doesn't mean you should automatically get a parent of the year award. Calling yourself a "Mr. Mom" just means that you think you're doing such a great service to mankind by being the parent to stay home and raise your children when honestly gender shouldn't matter of who is the primary caregiver. In an ideal world, both parents would have equal participation in raising their child, but in today's society a lot of times that just isn't feasible.

Don't get me wrong, I have a huge amount of respect for anyone who is a stay-at-home parent; it is definitely not an easy job. Most days it is probably thankless, and as someone who never wants children, shout out to anyone who has the strength to do that. But as someone who grew up with a working mother, I think it's incredibly darn sexist and old-fashioned to automatically assume that the mother is the parent who should feel obligated to raise their kids. My mom was the parent who worked full time because it financially made more sense, and while a lot of my friends' parents who chose to say home tended to be the mom, no one should ever feel obligated to either work full time or become a stay at home because of their gender.

If you want to be a stay at home mom, that's fine! But no one should feel the need to trash on parents' decisions to either stay at home or work. You don't know anything about their living situation, and if you're not the person being affected by their choices and know the child will be safe, maybe you should stop focusing so much on how other parents choose to raise a child and figure out why you feel the need to criticize other people for taking on the incredibly challenging task of raising a human being for at least 18 years.

Popular Right Now

The Thank You My Dad Deserves

While our moms are always the heroes, our dads deserve some credit, too.

Dear Dad,

You’ve gone a really long time without being thanked. I'm not talking about thanks for things like opening the Gatorade bottle I couldn't or checking my tires when my car’s maintenance light is flashing, but rather the thanks I owe you for shaping me into the person I am today.

Thank you for teaching me what I deserve and for not letting me settle for anything less.

While the whole world was telling me I wasn’t good enough, you were there to tell me I was. Whether this was with boys, a friend, or anything else, you always built my confidence to a place I couldn’t build it to on my own. You showed me what my great qualities were and helped me feel unique. But most of all, you never let me settle for anything less than what I deserved, even when I wanted to. Without you, I wouldn’t be nearly as ambitious, outgoing or strong.

Thank you for giving me someone to make proud.

It’s hard to work hard when it’s just for myself, but so easy when it’s for you. All through school, nothing made me happier than getting a good grade back because I knew I got to come home and tell you. With everything I do, you give me a purpose.

SEE ALSO: 20 Things You Say When Calling Your Dad On The Phone

Thank you for showing me what selflessness looks like.

You are the prime example of what putting your family first looks like. If me wanting something means that you can’t get what you want, you’ll always sacrifice. From wearing the same t-shirts you’ve had since I was in elementary school so I could buy the new clothes I wanted, to not going out with your friends so you could come to my shows, you never made a decision without your family at the forefront of your mind. If there is one quality you have that I look up to you for the most, it’s your ability to completely put your needs aside and focus entirely on the wants of others.

Thank you for being the voice in the back of my head that shows me wrong from right.

Even though many of your dad-isms like “always wear a seatbelt” easily get old, whenever I’m in a situation and can’t decide if what I’m doing is right or wrong, I always can hear you in the back of my head pointing me in the right direction. While I may not boost your ego often enough by telling you you’re always right, you are.

Thank you for being real with me when nobody else will.

Being your child hasn’t always been full of happiness and encouragement, but that’s what makes you such an integral part of my life. Rather than sugarcoating things and always telling me I was the perfect child, you called me out when I was wrong. But what separates you from other dads is that instead of just knocking me down, you helped me improve. You helped me figure out my faults and stood by me every step of the way as I worked to fix them.

Most of all, thank you for showing me what a great man looks like.

I know that marriage may seem very far down the road, but I just want you to know that whoever the guy I marry is, I know he’ll be right because I have an amazing guy to compare him to. I know you’re not perfect (nobody is), but you’ve raised me in a such a way that I couldn’t imagine my kids being raised any differently. Finding a guy with your heart, drive, and generosity will be tough, but I know it will be worth it.

Dad, you’re more than just my parent, but my best friend. You’re there for me like nobody else is and I couldn’t imagine being where I am now without you.

Love you forever,

Your little girl

Cover Image Credit: Caity Callan

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

An Open Letter To My Role Model

This one's for you dad.


If you went to an elementary school like mine you probably had an essay prompt in 2nd grade titled "write about a role model in your life." Of course, I wrote about my favorite superhero. Someone who was always there for me and never failed to put a smile on my face. And yes you guessed right, my favorite superhero was and still is my dad. This letter is (hopefully) a better-written part 2 to that 2nd-grade essay.


Some of my first memories include you imparting wisdom on me. Whether you were coaching my soccer team or teaching me how to drive a boat, you've always been a sense of support and motivation. You are so hardworking and never let anything get in your way. You are such a strong figure who always tells me how it is. I admire how you can fix anything and everything. I love that about you until you try to teach me how to do it on my own. Mainly because it means you won't be around forever to fix things, but also because you must have given me a trait for being lazy.

At the same time, you never take anything too seriously. You're never afraid to cut loose. I vividly remember going on spontaneous daddy-daughter dates after school, little did I know these were just errands, but that's the point because you always made them so fun and made me feel so special! To this day, I cherish our alone time and all the fun stuff we do together. You were my role model in 2nd grade and you still are today. You have no idea how much I look up to you and love you, but I hope after reading this you will.

Related Content

Facebook Comments