It is a rough world for singles.
A world that I never thought that I would have to endure. I truly believe that everyone must experience the single life at least once in their lifetime. You gain independence and are able to truly be one with yourself. With that being said, there is a lot of societal pressure that is placed on single people, especially single women.
Before this time in my life, I had not been single since I was a freshman in high school. I obviously wasn't independent then and I definitely did not know who I was then. Shortly after, I met my high school sweetheart and we dated for 5 years.
Looking back, I was never truly single. I always had someone to be codependent on. Since not being in a relationship, I have become much more independent and have learned much more about myself.
After being in a relationship for so long and then becoming single, you realize a lot about yourself.
One thing that I have come to realize is that I hate being single. I hate being alone. Yes, it is important to have a "single" time in your life in order to become more independent, but some people are just not cut out for that life and I have realized that I am one of them.
There are a lot of expectations for women when it comes to relationships. When you are young and in your 20's people expect for you to be single and "play the field" and when you reach your late 20's and 30's people then begin to expect for you to be in a relationship or be married already. If you are not, people question you.
It is a catch 22; you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
For me, being single has not been what I thought it would be. It consists of random guys at the bar trying to hit on you and have "meaningful conversations" with you. It consists of guys you meet at social gathering that you strike up a conversation with and immediately want your number, and you reluctantly give it to them because you're single and why not. It is an endless cycle and it is exhausting.
Some people love being single and may disagree with me, and that's when I realized that there are two types of people in this world: the relationship people and the single people.
I am a relationship person; I love the feeling of having someone you know will love you no matter what. I love the feeling of being able to be yourself around someone and be goofy with them, but most importantly I love the feeling of having someone who feels like home.
If you are a relationship person like me, do not ever feel ashamed from the pressure to be single. There is nothing wrong with hating small talk at a bar with a guy that just wants to take you home or awkward blind dates. This does not make you weak or codependent. You know what you want and you know yourself, which is a true sign of independence.
Regardless if you are a relationship person or a single person, deep down everyone just wants to be loved. At the end of the day, we all just want to come home to someone who truly sees past our flaws and loves us regardless.