It's hard to go through. It's hard to write about. You feel vulnerable, and writing this brings back those vulnerable feelings. So why write about it? Why even think about those times? Why waste your time feeling sick over it again? Take a moment to look up from your screen, look around you and think about where you are in your life. Aren't you happy? Do you see how far you have come from those times? I am happy to have been heartbroken. And heartbroken in different ways.
Young love is a cruel thing. In high school, you might have found your first love. It can be the most powerful of every adolescent feeling you have. It sure as hell was for me. When you fall in love for the first time, it is a brand new feeling that takes over your life. It took over my life for two years. Nothing else will matter to you, other than that person. It's beautiful. It's overwhelming. It's dangerous. And you eventually learn it sucks. It is called your "first love" because it is your first. Many people go their whole life with one person, and that is awesome. But I believe in falling in love over and over again. I believe getting heartbroken by someone you love. You are in a time of your life when you are learning so much, and now you get to learn the pain of a broken heart. It did so much for me. While I sat at lunch crying my eyes out, I learned that there were so many people who cared for me. While I locked myself away I learned that my family was always going to be there to open up my doors again. While I look back on all the crying, screaming, arguing and throwing of things, I know I learned how to become such a strong person who did not deserve any of what happened. Getting your heart broken in any relationship, let alone your first, tests you as a person. You cry, you get angry, you may get a little crazy, but you also get strong. You learn to keep your head held high, keep your back straight and smile through it all. Of course, it is fake at the time. But not now. Hopefully, now you are just like that in your everyday life because you are stronger, you are better than you were before. Now you are happy. Maybe even happier. Now you understand that you matter, and you need to do things for yourself, to love yourself.
After all the relationships I've had, romantic or just friendships, that ended I was heart broken. But now I'm not. That person was in your life to hurt you, and yeah that's just kind of screwed up. But you could not be as happy as your are now with them in your life. Now you get to live your life and live it with all you have learned. Now, your heart-broken-self lives on. You are stronger, wiser, more trustworthy and probably more compassionate than before. You know what love is, in every form. Though it was taken from you and replaced with spite, it can be replaced again. And each time you fall in love again, each time you tell someone you love them again it is going to be more sincere as before. It will just keep getting better from here, darling.
I would like to thank all the people who broke my heart. Because you cheated on me, lied to me, gossiped about me, left me out on purpose, weren't there for me when I needed you and just messed with my feelings for no reason, I am now in the happiest time of my life. I am ready to take on the world myself, take it on with all the care and compassion that I am made up of and that you do not deserve. One day after everything, I will love again. You will love again, and you will be happy for having your heart broken before.
