national best friends day

Happy National Best Friends Day!

Time to celebrate your bestie for the restie.

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Happy National Best Friends Day!

However, fun fact: I don't have a best friend.

While on Instagram today, everyone will be posting on their pages and stories about how much they love and appreciate their number one, that will not include me.

You may be wondering why I don't have a best friend. Well, here are a couple reasons why yours truly doesn't have a bestie. I did have a best friend growing up. She lived down the street, we went to different elementary schools, but you can bet everything that we were racing to each other's houses right when we got home. Every day contained new fun and adventure for six years. However, once middle school rolled around, we grew apart, and fond memories stayed that way, few and far between to ever be made again.

I suppose that was the beginning of the end. If you think about your best friend, you've probably known them for a long time, grown up with them, and they know you better than anyone else. Every other Odyssey article about best friends exactly relate to you and your other half. Once my bff and I grew apart, and I, in no way blame her, it was a little tough to find a new one. I went to a very small private k-12 school, and most friends were already taken by each group, with the token few new kids every year.

As much as I tried to find a new best friend, it never really occurred. I had a decent group of friends, but I never seemed to come across someone who also needed a best friend like me.

If you're thinking this is all a sob story, you're wrong.

Yes, not having a best friend is occasionally sad. Some would think it's detrimental to your childhood. But here's the best part. I don't mind, actually, I fully enjoy not having a best friend.

Every day, not having a best friend forces me to go out and make new friends and strengthen current friendships with others. I don't have to rely on a singular person to know if my outfit looks good enough, or if they watched the next episode of the bachelorette without me. Being able to drift around allows me to find people who I might never thought I could be friends with, and gives me a true sense of independence.

It is okay to not have a best friend.

If you do, I applaud you. Having someone in your life who is equally important to you as you are to them is rare. Cherish it, because it might not last forever.

For me, today, just like many other days, I will be my own best friend. I cherish being able to work on myself. I get to be a degree of selfish, where I can participate in self-care and self-love, because so many times it is underrated and not seen as important, when it truly is.

The person that you have to spend your entire life with isn't your best friend, your sibling, or your partner, it's you. You are the best person to rely on, you are the one who needs to be satisfied that you're living the life that makes you happiest.

In the words of Tom Haverford and Donna Meagle, treat yo' self.

Either way, best friendless or not, there is joy and happiness to be found in the adventure. People come and go, and at the end of the day, you have to spend your entire life with you, so you might as well enjoy it, and be your own best friend.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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How To Cope With A Best Friend Breakup


Breaking up with a boyfriend is one thing, but breaking up with your best friend is a whole new level of heartbreak.

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We all know breakups can be tough, but when that breakup happens to be between you and your best friend, things reach a new level of heartbreak. I met my best friend junior year of high school after our Spanish teacher randomly assigned us to be partners; we struggled so much in that class but in the end, we truly became inseparable. When senior year rolled around we were still close as ever; people would often joke that we were sisters because we looked and acted so much alike. We would go on little dates together, go to parties together, and were always the first person we called when something "major happened."

When my best friend's boyfriend of four years cheated on her while we were spring breaking in Europe, it became my duty to make her feel better; I would randomly drop off flowers and little notes to her house, spend countless hours just listening to her cry and vent, and even stopped talking to people associated with her boyfriend so as to show my "support." All of these things were no big deal to me considering I loved this girl like a sister; whatever she needed I was there to give that to her.

Things soon took a sharp turn when we entered not only the same college but the same sorority. While I was struggling with the social aspect of FSU, my best friend soon found new best friends. When I started having major issues with my boyfriend, I would automatically text/call my best friend as she did with me, but instead of support, I got the sense that she was passive and uninterested. Our little dates and goofy inside jokes disappeared and reappeared between her and her new friends, and my comfortableness around her soon turned into insecurity.

Coming to terms with the fact that the girl I knew everything about is now basically a stranger was a hard one to overcome; I didn't want to accept the fact that my best friend decided it was time to find new ones. It's heartbreaking knowing that the special things you shared with a person are now being shared with others, and it's hard to accept the fact that you aren't wanted or needed by the one person you thought would be by your side forever.

Since school has ended I think I have accepted the fact that we're no longer what we used to be. Of course, it still stings when I see social media posts with her new, college friends, but I just have to remind myself that this is part of life and I just have to move on. I will forever cherish the memories I made with her, but it's time to acknowledge that they were made with someone in my past, not with someone in my present.

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