While I’m procrastinating writing my Mother’s Day card I figured why not write an article, instead?
I first want to start with an anecdote. I was around 11-years-old at the time, enrolled in a summer school course. At the end of class, the teacher loved to give us logic puzzles. Long story short, the solution for the puzzle that particular day had to do with the child being adopted.
That led one of the students to raise his hand and ask, “Isn’t it true that parents who adopt children love them less since they didn’t actually give birth to them?” I have no idea what compelled this child to ask this kind of ridiculous question, but I’ll cut him some slack -- he was just 11. The teacher looked at me for a minute, and then turned to the boy and said, “If anything, the parent would love the child more because they deliberately chose to have that child.”
I may have been off about the exact wording she used, but the real point is that she had gone out of her way to defend me and, indirectly, this would change the way I viewed the whole adoption thing.
After disclosing that I’m adopted, the most common reply is, “Oh, so do you know your birthmother?” Side note, I don’t. It took a while and a lot of self-development, but at this point of my life I have come to the conclusion: I could care less.
I have learned that a mother is more than a person who has given birth to me. Without my birthmother, I wouldn’t be alive right now. But without my mother, the real mother of my life, I wouldn’t have this life. I wouldn’t be who I am, and that means a lot more to me.
Sorry, I digress. The point of that story was to highlight an important aspect of Mother’s Day. There are several people who view it as the “day to honor the person who gave birth to me,” which is very much true in most cases. However, what exactly are we honoring on Mother’s Day?
It’s not really honoring the person who went into labor and gave birth to you, but honoring the person who has been there for you through thick and thin, has offered you unconditional love and made you the person who you are today.
I remember the days when my mom used to come home late from work. It was a ritual that my sister and I would come down as soon as we heard the keys in the door, and we’d give her a big hug, and then she would come upstairs with us to tuck us into bed.
Without fail, I would always ask her to refill my glass of water. Despite working the whole day, she would, without hesitation, go and refill the glass. I didn’t ask because I was actually thirsty, but that was the way I communicated to her that I needed her, and her bringing the glass of water was her way of telling me that she would always be there for me.
As I got older, I stayed up later and didn’t need to be tucked in. But each time I came home from college this year, the first thing I asked for when I sat down at the kitchen table was a glass of water. So, two takeaways from that story: I’m a lazy butt and my mother is ridiculously kind and loving.
I’m going to write my Mother’s Day card now. Every year it’s one of the most difficult tasks because there are so many feelings I want to express in one space. But I guess that’s why we get the chance each year.
This will probably be posted after Mother's Day, but I guess this goes as a reminder that it doesn't have to be a designated holiday to appreciate those you love.
