Most people search for happiness in others rather than looking for it in themselves which is a huge mistake. Being happy is personal, it has nothing to do with anyone else. Happiness is not a job for anyone but yourself, no one is applying to make you happy. Why make every ounce of your feelings depend on another person and their actions? Assigning someone that much power over your life is not worth the storm that could possibly come in the end.

From personal experience, I have learned that giving every ounce of your happiness to someone else is an awful decision. Not only did I learn this through romantic relationships but also friendships. Living for someone else makes you completely powerless… why would you want that in YOUR life? Rebuilding your life after losing someone is heartbreaking and it sucks but I have also learned that even the darkest times can bring us to the brightest places. Always remember, “no rain, no flowers.”

Now, don’t get me wrong... there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling joy and happiness around certain people. The problem doesn’t develop until you put all of your happiness into them and you cannot make yourself happy without them. This is really only a problem because if they leave, so does your happiness. No one is guaranteed to stay in your life, you never know what could happen at any given time. Don’t get me wrong, it is important to care about other people and their joy but you should not be coming in last. The quality of life expands so, so much when you develop the ability to create happiness on your own. If you are happy with your life then everything else will fall into place exactly how it should.

So the big question is, “How do I create happiness on my own?” Well, first you need to learn how to be comfortable in your own skin. Your personality should not change depending on who you are with and if it does, you are not hanging around the right people. You create happiness on your own by filling your life with things that make you feel joy, such as being around MULTIPLE different people (family, friends, coworkers, etc.) and surrounding yourself with things that have positive impacts on you. Happiness is a choice. You choose to be happy. It is about putting effort into yourself. It is about making the most out of every single day. It’s about growing and inspiring. It is about loving every part of yourself because how you choose to love yourself is how you will teach others to love you. Wake up in the morning with a wonderful mindset and simply thank god for living another day. Life will not become a blessing until you make it one. Happiness comes from being content with yourself... not someone else. You cannot be happy by trying to be the same exact person someone else is, you need to fine your own version of happiness. Giving the people in your life the ability to provide all your happiness is not a good move. They should be in your life because they add to your happiness... not because they provide all of it.

While finding your own way to create happiness you may lose people, but that is okay. If they were meant to be there, they should be. Losing crappy people creates more room for great people. Get rid of lying and manipulative people, they do nothing but suck energy out of you. Don’t stay around anyone who chooses not to treat you right. Don’t love people who don’t reciprocate and don’t live to please anyone other than yourself. Obviously, happiness will not come overnight, it is like trying to find a needle in a haystack… but, IT IS WORTH IT.

You were able to believe in Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny for about 9 years, I am sure you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes… So put your positive pants on and put yourself first so you can quit drowning while trying to be someone’s anchor. Your happiness will not just come to you, it has to come from you. And if all else fails just smile because you don’t own all the problems in the world!

“Make yourself a priority. At the end of the day, you’re your longest commitment.”