Growing up it was essentially just my mom in the picture. Which for a long time, I admit, I didn't think much of. I loved my mom, my grandparents were living with us at the time, all was well.

It wasn't until I got older and my mom remarried that I had to start dealing with the fact that I had been pretending as though a fatherly figure did not exist. Now this is not a life is so hard so sad kind of story.

This is for all the girls who when Father's Day comes around, reflect on the fact that they have never called someone "dad," attended a daddy daughter dance, or ever considered themselves "daddy's little girl." I admit seeing little girls posed on their dad's knee used to fill me with a pang of jealousy. Me. A now 18 year old adult---jealous of an unsuspecting little seven year old looking up at her father's face and smiling.

This feeling, this kind of missing piece of my life that I so long ignored, made me quite often feel alone. Most of my friends have two parents who have always been married and grew up not knowing anything different. This is to no fault of their own, they are wonderful friends and no lesser for not having the same situation I do, it was just a disconnect I sometimes felt. It wasn't until my senior year of high school that I became close friends with someone who had (strangely enough) a family situation that was nearly identical to mine. This was an incredibly liberating and validating experience for me, which seems odd to say. But for so long I felt as though no one would share the feelings I did, and understand having that missing feeling.

Here’s the silver lining, I have been given (like many other people) a wonderful step father and men who stepped up in my life to fill that space. Undoubtedly one of the greatest things to ever happen to our family and to me. For that, I'm truly grateful.

As Father's Day rolls around, I wanted to share this. I feel incredibly vulnerable writing it, almost as though I'm in that dream where you show up to school and realize you have no pants on. However, what this year has made me realize is that knowing people who share your situation, sentiments, or feelings is extremely liberating.

Here's to my step father for being my second chance. Here’s to all the people in our lives who act as our substitute fathers. Here's to anyone who reads this and thinks, wow, someone else getsit. And here's to everyone who says Happy (it's complicated) Father's Day.