Every year, I come up with some unrealistic New Year’s Resolution. However, in 2016, I told myself I would work out again, and change my diet for the first time in my life. This resolution was actually realistic – it was so realistic that it actually scared me. It knew it was about time I did it, but I didn’t know where to start.

It was almost a year ago that I decided I wanted to turn my life around. I had gone through a period of mental self-destruction, trying to make myself feel better by eating unhealthy foods. Ironically, I also refused physical activity. I lost so much confidence in myself that I gave up on working out because I never thought I was good enough. Thinking about working out made me stressed. Apparently, it was easy to forget how good it felt to be in shape. So, as of last January, I decided to change that.

I began the year with daily workouts. Looking back, the workouts were a little insane. I would spend about three hours in my basement making up circuits to target every part of the body you could imagine. I would run on the treadmill for at least 3 miles, no matter how boring it was. I would turn on the TV on full volume and face the treadmill toward it. To be honest, this was a great idea because it really helped with my Netflix binges… but that’s beside the point. Even though my workouts were probably way too hard on my previously sedentary body, they felt good. I felt a physical and mental relief that my body was begging for over the last four years.

Once I started to workout, next came the diet. Sure, I was spending hours of my day working out and burning calories, but I was probably putting in double the amount of calories I should’ve. I grew up with a pretty horrible diet. I had bagels and loaded waffles for breakfast almost every day, and chicken fingers with fries for dinner. I ate out at notoriously unhealthy restaurants. Luckily I loved to eat fruit, which was just about the only healthy thing I ate. I hated vegetables for most of my life–I never ate a salad. Nevertheless, the transition into a healthier diet was a difficult one.

After a few weeks of trial and error, I discovered the healthier options of the foods I loved. I tried numerous recipes with lighter portions and more vegetables. I even started to eat salads a few times a week, which was an embarrassingly big deal. Truthfully, the results showed almost immediately. I started to track my macros, making sure I had enough protein in my body from lifting weights. It was tedious, but eventually became a part of my everyday routine. I’ll be honest: maintain a healthier diet was difficult, but now it comes easy. I no longer crave chicken fingers, which I miraculously went nine months without eating.

A few months into 2016, I started another part of this healthier lifestyle. I joined my college track team. Now listen, I am by no means a talented runner, but I have found myself again through running. I started out with sprinting in the Spring, and after the season ended, I dedicated my summer to running. I ran every day, lifted three times a week, competed in road races, went rock climbing, and made up pool workouts. In the Fall, against all odds, I joined the Cross Country Team. The girl who learned to hate working out and running became a distance runner for a season. Truthfully it was once of the best decisions I ever made for myself, both mentally and physically.

Here I am now, starting my second track season after six years of track-less days. I still focus on my diet, with cheat days, of course. Every day I’m dedicated to making myself better both physically and mentally: my anxiety is cured by my runs and my body appears stronger every week. Today, I look in the mirror without wondering how I got to where I stand. I got here with hard work and dedication, with pain and hard days, but now I look in that mirror and I’m proud.