As soon as December 1st rolls around, the consumer-centric monster holiday of Christmas explodes onto the scene and pervades every aspect of your life, overshadowing all other winter celebrations. People start eating chocolates to count down the days until Christmas arrives, like somehow eating candy has something to do with the meaning of it all. They put up strings of lights all over their houses and yards with obnoxious blow-up Santas and reindeer. Everyone starts stressing out about what presents to get their friends and family members, and every radio station feels the need to satisfy their listeners’ desires to hear the Christmas classics and remakes by popular artists. To be quite honest, if I hear Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” one more time, I will go insane. We get it, we can read a calendar, we know Christmas is coming.
For all of you folks who despise the obsession with gift-giving nonsense that is the modern Christmas tradition or who have no Christian affiliations and feel overwhelmed, there is a different holiday to get you in the spirit of family-time and spreading cheer. On December 18, 1997, the episode of NBC’s sitcom "Seinfeld" named “The Strike” aired and introduced the holiday Festivus. Essentially, Festivus is celebrated December 23 every year as a quasi-rebellion against the religious and commercial pressures of Christmas. Its traditional elements are both hilarious and horrifying: Airing of Grievances, Feats of Strength, and, of course, the Festivus Pole. No dirty, shedding tree will litter your household with pine needles in accordance with this holiday. Instead, a bare aluminum pole graces your room of choice.
The Feats of Strength involve a randomly selected guest as the contender in a physical match against the head of the household, and the Airing of Grievances is the designated time to tell everyone at dinner what issues you have with them (which happens anyway during most holiday gatherings so at least you can come out and declare it a tradition).
While Christmas has its nice customs, Festivus is all about coming together with family and friends to remind everyone of who is important in your life and that you don’t need any distracting tinsel and lavish gifts to celebrate a holiday. In recent Festivus news, atheist activist Chaz Stevens in Illinois has been approved to put up a Festivus pole made of beer cans and decorated with gay pride colors in the state capitol building. Stevens has stated that he has received death threats for his actions and FOX’s Bill O’Reilly has called the poles “a War on Christmas.” Stevens responded to the instigating comment, saying, “I call it a war on Christians’ privilege.” He has made clear that his goal is to put them up in every public place where there is a nativity scene, and, as one person commented, is “responding to a system that favors one religion over others.” I think Stevens’ actions against the pervasiveness of a holiday that not everyone celebrates would have made Frank Costanza very proud.
This year, if Christmas is getting a little tiresome, break out an aluminum pole, take the time to complain about your family’s faults, share a nice dinner and wrestle your parents; it will be a nice change of pace. Here’s to a wonderful Festivus, a holiday for the rest of us!
