What’s up? How are you? I’m praying for you. Get well soon. Good morning, goodnight, Happy birthday…I love you.

These phrases—things that we are taught are nice to say—have become so overused that they have no meaning anymore. Yes, it’s nice and polite to ask someone how they’re doing whenever you see them. Yes, it’s nice to wish someone a happy birthday so that they feel special and appreciated and remembered. Yes, it’s imperative that we pray for people who need prayer. But where is the line between “culturally correct” and saying what you mean?

So many times we see that it is someone’s birthday on Facebook, so we say, “Happy Birthday! Miss you! Love you, mean it!” We don’t mean it. What does it even mean? Do we really hope that their birthday is even enjoyable? The truth is, we didn’t even know it was their birthday. Thanks, Facebook.

“Happy birthday,” should mean, “I really hope this day is fantastic for you, and I want to help it be that way.” It shouldn’t be something we say and then mark off of our list. We should make sure that the person does have a happy birthday. Hint: That involves more than two words.

So many times we see that we are losing someone or an argument is about to surface, or we simply run out of conversation topics, so we blurt out, “I love you.” And easily more than half of the time, we don’t mean it. No one does. Why? Because it’s habitual. We say something offensive, and we want to cover it up, sugar coat it—and instead of apologizing we declare our “love.”

Love, and the declaration of it, shouldn’t be something we say, but something that we do, something that we show and prove every day. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t say it because we definitely should. We just have to think about it more before we blurt it out. Not thinking about when we should say it is exactly why it’s lost its meaning.

So many times, we run out of things to say, and there is some culturally accepted thing that we know of. It’s easy to blurt out, and it’s expected. It’s normal, and it doesn’t start an unwanted conversation. It doesn’t push us to get to know someone more. It doesn’t force us to be honest about our feelings. It makes us just like everyone else. It makes us boring. And it makes us dishonest.

We all have to learn that if we continue to use these culturally correct sayings, then we have to mean what we say. And if we choose not to use them, we have to say what we mean. Prove what we mean. Don’t fall into the Happy Birthday Habit. Remember that there is a birthday. Make the Birthday happy. Realize someone needs prayer. Pray for them. Pray for someone without them asking for prayer. Ask someone how they are doing, and then—-this might shock you—listen to their answer.

Be genuine and have a good day.