So I grew up as an only child. Yup, I had no siblings growing up (I still don’t), it was just me and my parents (and when I was 10, my dog joined the family!).

There are countless stereotypes about only children. For my entire life, I’ve heard that as an only child I’m “spoiled.” Yeah, some of it is true. I did get far more attention from my parents, and I didn’t have to share as much if at all. But that was my experience, it was my normal. Hearing things like that bothered me because yes, while I did get more parental attention and did have nicer things than my friend sometimes, it was my normal, and stereotypes such as that made me feel shame for something that was my normal.

Additionally, my family was kind of poor, so even as an only child, I didn’t really get that much extra stuff. In addition to those stereotypes, however, there are other ones. I’ve heard that only children are more socially awkward, less personable, as well as selfish and self-centered. In fact, the first president of the American Psychological Association, G. Stanley Hall, reportedly had claimed that “being an only child is a disease in and of itself.”

The truth is that as an only child, yes, I grew up alone. Yes, I had more one-on-one time with my parents, and so yes, I was at many times the center of their attention. The attention is something I’m used to. And in terms of social awkwardness, I wouldn’t go as far to consider myself socially awkward, but I am a shy person. I know that. I accept it. But my shyness is totally something that makes sense to me as I spent a lot of my childhood playing by myself, or with my imaginary friend Bobo who was a small pine needle tree in my front yard (my parents eventually cut him down).

So, it makes sense that I’m kinda shy. After all, I didn’t get as much social stimulation from other kids my age. But at the end of the day, I prefer more intimate relationships anyway, and I know from the intimate relationships I do have that I am not the least bit shy when I know someone well. Which brings me to the next point: For all of you who believe in the stereotypes of only children being “weird” or “socially awkward,” try getting to know us first.

The truth is that while sometimes I do see some truth in these stereotypes, for the most part, they aren’t true, and while I have experienced a lot of loneliness as an only child, which admittedly is rough, there are also aspects of being an only child that I like. For example, as an only child, you learn to take care of yourself and are in many ways are independent from an early age: You learn to play by yourself and to entertain yourself, which is an important life skill to have.

But my favorite part of being an only child has to be the relationship I have with my parents. As an only child, it is just you and your parents, all their attention is devoted to you, all your attention is devoted to them. You are family. Therefore, from a young age, us only children have formed a unique relationship with our parents in which we see them as our equals, and you just learn to be comfortable with adults.

I have so many memories of getting pulled into my parents’ adult conversations about culture, politics, and yes, gossip (so much gossip). And I for one think that that relationship is cool and unique, and it’s very special to me. This also can make us more comfortable with authoritative figures, which totally makes sense to me as I’m genuinely shy around my peers, but less so around teachers, professors, even bosses, etc.

Whenever I tell people that I’m an only child, the first thing I usually get asked is whether I would’ve liked siblings. Truthfully, I think I would have, and I’m sure most only children will agree that they’ve spent some time imagining having a sibling. But there are definitely some cool aspects of being an only child.

Plus a whole bunch of cool celebs like Nathalie Portman, Leo DiCaprio, Elvis, FDR, etc. were all only children. At the end of the day, being an only child is how the cookie crumbled, and it’s my life, my perception, my experience. Being an only child has made me who I am.

At end of the day, I do like myself. I don’t regret being an only child.