In this fight we call life there is a battle waging constantly in our hearts; a battle for temptation and desires that we often don’t know what to make of. I feel led to share that I have chosen to save myself for marriage; wow, I bet you weren’t expecting that to be the next sentence. But in all honesty, this is a choice that many guys struggle with making because of their fear that they will be an outcast from the rest of their friends who have chosen differently. Many guys are afraid of telling their desires no because it is simply just “too difficult.”

So yes, these desires are difficult to tell no but are it worth it to just satisfy these feelings right now so that they will go away, or is it more important to conquer these feelings and know that you are in control of them instead of them being in control of you?

I sense that it is important to voice the reality of this situation... that there are guys out there who are choosing to be different. This rare breed of men do not do it to look like the “good guys,” but rather because intimacy is better to be saved for marriage than to be used spread out among girls who are relatively insignificant to the reality of marriage.

Think about it: If you meet a girl who you’re really into you are probably going to care about her emotionally. And if you care about her emotionally, you may want to preserve her worth and consider how it may make her feel after the fact that you took her virginity or made her feel like a used item whether you intended to or not.

We as men are complicated individuals, complex, and more than just meatheads. We can be dominant and aggressive but we can also be sensitive and understanding and this is okay. No, no don’t get confused here; stay with me, the truth is you may not need to do what you simply feel all the time but you do have to go with what you feel is better in the long run.

Maybe this is a choice that you need to write out, maybe it’s a choice that you need to tell your girl you’re making, and maybe it’s a choice that you need people to keep you accountable for.

This choice is one that must be made before the heat of the moment comes to be too strong and it just feels like something you should do because there seems to be no other option. It is obvious there are desires that stem from within ourselves that we really have no clue where they come from...they are just there...unexplainable...but you know what I’m talking about.

These desires are known as our sex drive, which as I must say can be very powerful at times. This drive often catches itself as the driver of our lives; he is one that doesn't stop at red lights and most certainly doesn't maintain the speed limit. He is dangerous and unreliable; better yet, he is impulsive and wounding.

See it takes a cry for change to actually implement change. So to those guys who haven’t made this oh so important commitment, take a second look and really dig deep about this part of your life; and for those guys who are traveling down the same road as I know that this is a daily commitment, not just a one-time thing.

Take some time to think about what you want for your life; yes maybe you need to write this out too: your desires, what you want, what you do not want, and not what the world tells you that you do. So, you may want to do that now, while reading this sentence... stop, consider, and then decide.

Often times men will choose not to make this decision because they feel alone if doing so, yet in reality, it is the exact opposite. Did you know that Tim Tebow, Taylor Lautner, professional hockey player and Carrie Underwood’s husband Mike Fisher, The Bachelor’s star Sean Lowe, and Kevin Jonas all made this vow to wait until marriage to have sex? Not only that but according to the CDC, four million ordinary guys in the U.S. have chosen to walk in this vow of abstinence.

Now I have a feeling that some of you readers are going to say that the odds are still against you, but then again why am I writing this article? I am writing this article to say that this is something you have to fight for if you believe in it. It is a fight to stray away from sex outside of marriage, but that it is also an unselfish decision that shows we care about our future wives and the children that will look up to us as fathers and husbands.

Once again, I want to say that we do make mistakes and by no means am I better than anyone who has chosen differently… and perhaps your new claim to fame can be that you are going to wait, and wait with a purpose of having a strong, happy marriage with the woman you love one day. 


So come on men, let us rise up and take the initiative to be different for the sake of maturity, for the sake of growing up and actually being the men we talk about being. Let us unite and say that we are waiting for something greater.