Recommended for you

Start writing a post

Health and Wellness

A Guy's thoughts during his first hot yoga class

From insecurity, to pain, to enlightenment

Max Williams Bretscher

Jun 29, 2018

Clemson University

397

YouTube

Yoga really is a journey. You walk in thinking one way and leave utterly changed an hour later. Something about the combination of apprehension, pain, embarrassment, and relief makes the grind of a hot yoga session both hilarious in hindsight and a beautiful experience worth returning to. Here is what an average guy is probably thinking during his first hot yoga class.

1. Is it cool to take my shirt off?

I already feel like I'm sticking out like a sore thumb as the lone guy in a room of women, and now I have to take my shirt off because it's already soaking wet and restricting my mobility. I'm doing this out of necessity guys I promise I'm not showing off. There's an old hairy guy in the back corner who showed up without a shirt, to begin with, so I'll just go for it. I apologize in advance for my rippling physique.

2. This is easy, I work out all the time

I've got this. Downward dog? I bench like 200 pounds how hard could it be? So what if it's hot? I stretch sometimes and I'm...pretty athletic.

3. It's not even that hot in here.

Sure it's warm but I thought this would be like a sauna. I've heard of people passing out in these classes but this? I could do this all day.

4. Am I sweating more than everybody else or is that just me?

Okay, it's starting to heat up in here. Why is her face not dripping? I'm definitely sweating more than everybody else. Do I smell? Shit, I think I smell. No wonder the instructor is fixing everybody's pose but mine. Actually no I'm probably just doing them perfectly already.

5. Okay this is officially not easy

We're not in Kansas anymore. I'm about 5 minutes away from crying or passing out whichever comes first. I think my feet are starting to go numb...How long are we holding this standing split again?

6. This old lady next to me is kicking my ass

How has this lady not taken a single break or sip of water? She looks like she's about to break in half and then whips out a headstand like it's nothing. What am I missing here?

7. If you say crescent moon Brittany one more time I swear...

I swear to god Brittany or whatever your name is. First, it's crescent now its crescent moon? The audacity. We've already done like twenty. I think I get the picture. If I even so much as here the words crescent or moon come out of your mouth one more time I'm walking out. Also, who taught you how to count to five? I could write this entire article before you even get to three.

8. Oh this is our last down dog? Somehow I don't believe you Brittany. I'm taking child's pose and you can't stop me.

Screw this. That last down dog was already one too many but I told myself to push through because I'll thank myself in the end but ANOTHER one? You've broken the camel's back Brittany, you broke it. I'm going into child's pose and you can't stop me.

9. It's really time for savasana? Are you sure you don't want to throw one more chataranga in there?

Oh, my goodness. Could it really be true.? No. I don't believe you, you've already played one too many cruel jokes on me. But you are breaking out the cooled lavender scented towels. And now everybody is lying down and the music...it's so soothing. Close my eyes? Yea I can do that...

10. We really are just one love though aren't we?

Namaste to you too Brittany, who's beautiful ass I was involuntary staring at the beginning of the class but now just looks to me like an expression of the universe that lies in all things. Namaste to you too.

Report this Content

This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Entertainment

25 Beatles Lyrics: Your Go-To Guide for Every Situation

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

SUNY Binghamton

33935

Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less

best beatles lyrics

Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Smith College

97454

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

waitlisted

Recommended for you

A Guy's thoughts during his first hot yoga class

From insecurity, to pain, to enlightenment

1. Is it cool to take my shirt off?

2. This is easy, I work out all the time

3. It's not even that hot in here.

4. Am I sweating more than everybody else or is that just me?

5. Okay this is officially not easy

6. This old lady next to me is kicking my ass

7. If you say crescent moon Brittany one more time I swear...

8. Oh this is our last down dog? Somehow I don't believe you Brittany. I'm taking child's pose and you can't stop me.

9. It's really time for savasana? Are you sure you don't want to throw one more chataranga in there?

10. We really are just one love though aren't we?

Subscribe to our Newsletter

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

Trending Topics

Top Creators

Trending Stories

Best of Health and Wellness

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments

Subscribe to our
Newsletter