Guys, Please Stop Trying To Use Canned "Pickup Lines"

Guys, Please Stop Trying To Use Canned "Pickup Lines"

Women know exactly what you are doing - and yes, we think they are hilarious... but they'll never work!
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Facebook. Instagram. Twitter. These are all modern day ways to keep in touch with everyone you know, or at least glanced at, at a party one time... but they're also networks where things can get hundreds of thousands, or even millions of views if something is truly amazing, funny... or even cringe worthy.

As a writer, I often do research on a large variety of topics -- and sometimes, I come across some cool stuff.

Other times, I come across things that really make me question whether I am normal, or if people really believe some of the stuff they read online.

Just a few years back while I was still in college, something called the "Pickup Artist industry" (or PUA) really took off -- online, and then with a TV program with a show called "The Pickup Artist".

However, I wasn't as geeky as I am now, and wasn't hip to what this actually was - until it happened to me on campus. I had always thought social media had something to do with the failures of modern dating culture, but this is something that was slightly disturbing too.

It started off like any other week going, going to classes and working, when I was approached by a man.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Ummm... sure"

He then proceeded to tell me a wild story about how he caught his girlfriend texting some guy, yadda yadda yadda, then asked me what I should do. However, I could tell this seemed a bit "show-offy", and was probably not true.

Over the next few minutes, he started asking me questions, made a comment about my nails, and then asked to play a game with me...

This was all a bit strange, but I felt fairly creeped out with the situation and I made an excuse to leave -- but not before he asked for a number to "tell me what happens". I declined, because I knew what it was.

An elaborate ploy to try and get my number.

He eventually just came right out and said it, saying he would like to take me out - however, I was taken (and still am, no silly pick up lines required). As I was leaving, he said that my "boyfriend can come too".

Anyway, being the busy person I was at the time, I brushed it off as an awkward interaction. I am a lot more "traditional", and would prefer being honest -- which could lead to sparking a real romance or love interest.

The funny thing is, almost this exact scenario took place a few weeks later - except it was a different story with a few additional twists.

Midgets, a best friend going behind his back, and so on...

Almost immediately, I found it very off putting because it seemed like he was trying to play a game in the background. But the part that made me blatantly aware, was the part about the "boyfriend coming along", in order to try and disarm women when they're not interested or genuinely are taken.

As it just so happens, one of my friends who I was meeting for coffee later in the day had something similar happen -- a crazy story, which was all just a ploy to get her number... after realizing this, we almost spurted coffee in eachothers faces thinking about how dumb these lines actually are!

We told a few other friends, and some of them encountered some bizarre pickup attempts too -- at which point we all knew something was up. Something stupid... after running into one of the guys again, I asked him what that was all about.

I got an apology, as well as clued into a mysterious thing called "PUA".

After looking into it, I was amazed to find communities of guys online who discuss "openers", and how to (try) and build attraction with stories that demonstrate how "cool" they are, and how witty, sexy, or charming they can be.

After chuckling to myself about it, I brushed it off as some silly trend - until I actually saw a TV show called "The Pickup Artist", where guys actually use these routines on women.

As mind-blowingly silly as these routines is, I seem to have a run in with these kinds of routines every few months or so -- and without fail, I can tell immediately that its a canned line just for the purpose of trying to pick me up.

I have to decline... but even if I was single I have no doubt they would never work.

Most of my friends also feel the same way. The stories, and social gimmicks they use are becoming less obvious -- but when you start playing games with women... it becomes all too obvious.

So what DOES work?

As a woman, I personally feel that being genuine is far more attractive than using fake confidence, fake stories, and fake personality traits to "charm" women.

In fact, I have a few guy friends who were very quiet and shy that I have dated in the past and even met my husband through a real interaction - no stories about midgets, crazy ex-girlfriends, cheating, or drama.

The moral of the story is that relationships take the time to develop - and if you build it on something like a made up story, or being someone you're not, it's eventually going to crumble away. That's not to say it NEVER works, I'm sure it does, or it wouldn't be such a huge industry judging by a number of ads I see for ridiculous PUA/dating products).

Real love is built over time, and being genuine with someone, so they can be genuine with you back... anything else is just asking for trouble.

"I don't want no fly guy, I just want a shy guy "

- Diana King, Shy Guy


Thank you for reading,

- Leilani

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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If She Can't Tell You How She Feel Then It's Her Fault If She Is Upset

We aren't mind readers, its not our fault if you get upset for me not knowing how you feel.

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Be vocal.

Feeling hurt? Feel betrayed? Or, that someone is pushing you around? Step up and say something. If you remain silence for months on end and then one day explode, then sorry.

That is on you, not me.

Having a relationship is all about communication. That means you discuss your feelings. You listen and exchange conversation. If you are unable to communicate about how you feel, it's not the other person's fault. You had months to explain how you felt. Instead, you sat there in silence. You can't expect someone to hold your hand and walk you through your problems. If you are feeling hurt, you need to step up and say something. It's not their fault you kept your feelings silenced. A relationship without communication is destined to die. And if you can't express how you feel to them you have already nailed the confine closed.

A relationship goes two ways. It's about building and growing together.

If someone is unable to properly communicate their feelings, then how is that relationship going to grow. People need to step up and say how they feel.

Got something to say? Say it.

Staying in the silence isn't going to help anyone. It's not going to help your hurt feelings or fix the situation. Chances are, the other person in the relationship doesn't even know what is going on. Say something. Speak up. Want to change the situation? Make the first step. A relationship is about growing together. If you can't give the person the chance to grow through a mistake then the relationship was never a true one. You can't expect someone to be perfect all the time. You need to understand that people make mistakes and if you are truly invested in the relationship, you would stand up and say something.

People are not mind readers. It doesn't matter who started it.

They said something that hurt you? Say something about it. The situation won't change. So, don't expect to sit around and watch the situation change. You could what changes a bad situation for others. But if you stand there acting all innocent or quite, guess what. You are the one in the end to blame. Not them. They did nothing wrong at the end, because you nailed that confine shut when you decided not to speak up. Don't proceed to attack them about it. Be open. Be honest.

Staying quiet isn't going to change the situation.

So don't yell and cry when things don't work out.

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