What Every Guy Needs To Know About Listening To Women
Start writing a post
Relationships

What Every Guy Needs To Know About Listening To Women

Providing emotional support will work wonders for you, gentlemen.

2755
What Every Guy Needs To Know About Listening To Women
Tumblr

Guys everywhere have heard girls complain that men just don't listen. Guys everywhere legitimately do try to listen to the women in their lives but "listening" means different things to guys than it does to girls (shocker.) Well mi amigos, I'm about to explain what your girl means she asks you to listen.

When a girl is talking about a problem in her life, you need to know that most of the time the problem she's focused on and concerned about isn't actually the problem she is talking about. The actual problem is her feelings about the problem. Most guys are very solution focused and when their girl starts talking about a problem in her life they are genuinely trying to help her when they offer her a solution to the problem she's talking about. But what guys need to focus on isn't the solution to the problem, they first need to focus on their woman's feelings about the problem.

Most guys have found that when they are listening to their girl talk about something that's upsetting her and they offer her a plan to fix the relationship or difficulty that is bothering her, she gets upset with him and tells him that he isn't listening. The guy is listening to the best of his ability! He's offering her a perfectly good solution to her problem! And she has the audacity to tell him that he isn't listening?!

Well guys, it's because you're listening to and fixing the wrong problem.

The actual problem is her feelings about the problem.

(This may shock you, but) girls process information very differently than guys do. Women's emotions are tied to their problems and women cannot separate their emotions from their thinking. Thanks to the way our brains are wired, most women physically cannot separate their emotions from their thinking until the emotions are processed. Women's emotions bombard brain functioning until those emotions are worked through. It's like there's a fog that's only cleared when the sun bursts through and melts the emotions away.

What this means is, once we've worked through our emotions we are then able to focus on solutions to other problems in our lives. When a girl asks you to listen to her talk about a problem she needs you to first focus on and work through her emotions about the problem, then she will be able to receive your solutions for the incident that caused her distress.

Another reason that it's important to address a girls emotions about a problem before addressing the problem is that girls are looking for connection. A lot of times girls share their problems (and their emotions about their problems) in order to strengthen the relationship with the person they're talking too. Expressing their thoughts and concerns about something that is bothering them with a person they care about really helps girls bond. The bond is strengthened even further when the person they're sharing with listens to her express her thoughts and concerns without interrupting, understands why that issue would concern her and supports and validates her feelings of concern.

Listening and providing emotional support will work wonders for a girl. When she feels safe trusting you with her thoughts and concerns because she knows that they matter to you, she will be much more willing to hear your opinions on what she should do to fix the problem that is distressing her.

To wrap it up, her emotions about the problem are the first problem to be worked through then the issue that is causing those negative emotions can start being resolved.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

No Sex And Upstate New York

A modern-day reincarnation of Carrie Bradshaw's classic column

619
Pinterest

Around the age of 12, when I was deciding whether or not to be gay, Satan appeared on my left shoulder. “Ramsssey,” he said with that telltale lisp. “Come over to our side. We have crazy partiessss.” He made a strong case, bouncing up and down on my shoulder with six-pack abs and form-fitting Calvin Kleins. An angel popped up on the other shoulder and was going to warn me about something, but Satan interrupted- “Shut up, you crusty-ass bitch!’ The angel was pretty crusty. She disappeared, and from that moment forward I was gay.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

To The Classes That Follow

I want you to want to make the most of the years that are prior to Senior year

1782
To The Classes That Follow
Senior Year Is Here And I Am So Not Ready For It

I was you not that long ago. I was once an eager freshman, a searching sophomore, and a know-it-all junior. Now? Now I am a risk taker. Not the type that gets you in trouble with your parents, but the type that changes your future. Senior year is exciting. A lot of awesome things come along with being the top-dog of the school, but you, right now, are building the foundation for the next 4 years that you will spend in high school. I know you've heard it all. "Get involved", "You'll regret not going to prom", "You're going to miss this". As redundant as these seem, they're true. Although I am just at the beginning of my senior year, I am realizing how many lasts I am encountering.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Power Of Prayer Saved My Best Friend's Life

At the end of the day, there is something out there bigger than all of us, and to me, that is the power of prayer.

2908
Julie Derrer

Imagine this:

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Why Driving Drives Me Crazy

the highways are home

2248

With Halloween quickly approaching, I have been talking to coworkers about what scares us. There are always the obvious things like clowns, spiders, heights, etc. But me? There are a number things I don't like: trusting strangers, being yelled at, being in life or death situations, parallel parking. All of these are included when you get behind the wheel of a car.

Keep Reading... Show less
Baseball Spring Training Is A Blast In Arizona
Patricia Vicente

Nothing gets me more pumped up than the nice weather and the sights and sounds of the baseball season quickly approaching.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments