Browsing the internet, it seems increasingly apparent that there is more than enough information out there on guys' behavior. There are websites (girlsaskguys.com), magazines ("Cosmopolitan"), and movies ("He's Just Not That Into You") dedicated to teaching women just what exactly is going through a guy's mind if he does x, y, or z. But what about the fellas? Where do they go if they want to pick up on a woman's signals? What if guys are just as confused about women as women are about men? Or, better yet, what if guys want to know more about women than what "Playboy" has to offer? Gasp.
So, because I believe that we're really not all that different deep down, I'm going to lay out some basics for you fellas out there. I'm going to write you the article that's been written millions of times for women, and not at all for men.
I'll open with the obvious. What do women want on anniversaries, birthdays, or just in general? The answer is simple. We want something thoughtful. That narrows it down, right? We want you to know what we want without having to explicitly tell you. We want you to pick up on the our interests, or remember something specific that we mentioned that one time. And okay, maybe that's not super practical. So here's what I suggest: text her mom, best friend, or sister and have them guide you. Seriously, this could save you so much time. Also, don't take her with you. Don't say I'll pay for it. I just want to make sure you get something that you like. I've tried to be okay with that scenario. I've tried to think about his point of view and it's just not the same.
Generally speaking, jewelry is always a good idea. Gift cards are a bad idea. Flowers are a bonus. Price doesn't matter. Hand written letters are priceless.
This next question and answer has been popping up on social media lately. It's definitely an aftermath of the feminism phenomenon. So, does she want to be taken care of or not? Let me say it again, we're not all that different. We want you to help us out because you want to, not because you think we're not capable of doing it ourselves.
Hold the door because you should do that for everyone. Offer to help her carry groceries because she has a lot--not because she's weak. Think before you speak. Teach each other and be a team. If you spoil her, then she'll give it right back to you.
How do you know when you're definitely not getting (or keeping) the girl? If you don't argue. That's a huge red flag. You want to argue playfully and seriously. If you're not arguing playfully, then you're not having as much fun as you should be. You're also probably not pushing one another the way you ought to be. If you never get into real fights, (and you're over the honeymoon phase) then the relationship probably isn't worth her being upset about anymore. That's a problem.
She's just not that into you if she never interacts with you over social media, smiles and nods and runs away from your conversations, or makes a point to never be right next to you.
Lastly, let's talk about appearances. For some reason, there's this idea that we're all about the Barbie and Ken look. Honestly, most people want someone who is physically similar to them. For instance, women who excercise daily probably want a guy who makes the gym a priority. Whereas women with a little extra here and there would choose a man with a "dad bod" over Channing Tatum. We want someone we're comfortable around.
How do you get the girl? The same way you would tell a woman to get the guy (you know, minus all of the hoopla about looks). Be confident (not arrogant). Make her laugh. Have great conversations. Don't take yourself too seriously. Challenge her. Be kind.
Good luck finding your OTP guys!
