An Open Letter To The Guy Who Tried to Change Me

To The Guy Who Told Me Not To Be Me, Nice Try

He will not silence me.

639
views

He told me to never cut my hair short because it would make me look too masculine.

So, I sent him pictures of three different pixie cuts and asked him which one I should get.


He told me not to wear red lipstick because it made me look like a slut.

So, I bought every shade from blush rose to maroon.


He told me not to buy heels taller than one and a half inches tall because it's unattractive for a girl to be taller then the guy she is with.

My favorite shop was having a sell on a beautiful pair of three-inch stilettos. I bought them.


He told me that I was putting on a few extra pounds and that I shouldn't order dessert on our next dinner date.

Did he honestly think I would say no to the red velvet cake that our waitress offered?


He flirted with the waitress, saying that I should "look more like her."

I wrote down his number on our receipt before we left the restaurant.


He told me not to leave my "feminine products" on the counter because it's embarrassing.

When his friends came over for guys night, I organized my tampons and pads nicely on the bathroom shelf.


He told me that I couldn't talk to my best friend of 12 years because he was a guy.

I invited him to watch a movie with us at the local cinema the following week.


He told me not to order wine at the bar with him and his work friends because he didn't want me to seem "trashy."

I ordered jack and coke instead.


He told me not to be a feminist because it meant that I thought I was better than him.

My new "GIRL PWR" shirt is my favorite.


He told me to be silent.

He told me that I think too much and that I speak what I think too often.

He told me nobody cares about what I have to say.

He told me that the things I say don't matter.


So, I wrote a poem about him.

Popular Right Now

I'm The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

You raise your protest picket signs and I’ll raise my white picket fence.
495475
views

Social Media feeds are constantly filled with quotes on women's rights, protests with mobs of women, and an array of cleverly worded picket signs.

Good for them, standing up for their beliefs and opinions. Will I be joining my tight-knit family of the same gender?

Nope, no thank you.

Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be oblivious to my history and the advancements that women have fought to achieve. I am aware that the strides made by many women before me have provided us with voting rights, a voice, equality, and equal pay in the workforce.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Who Would Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

For that, I am deeply thankful. But at this day in age, I know more female managers in the workforce than male. I know more women in business than men. I know more female students in STEM programs than male students. So what’s with all the hype? We are girl bosses, we can run the world, we don’t need to fight the system anymore.

Please stop.

Because it is insulting to the rest of us girls who are okay with being homemakers, wives, or stay-at-home moms. It's dividing our sisterhood, and it needs to stop.

All these protests and strong statements make us feel like now we HAVE to obtain a power position in our career. It's our rightful duty to our sisters. And if we do not, we are a disappointment to the gender and it makes us look weak.

Weak to the point where I feel ashamed to say to a friend “I want to be a stay at home mom someday.” Then have them look at me like I must have been brain-washed by a man because that can be the only explanation. I'm tired of feeling belittled for being a traditionalist.

Why?

Because why should I feel bad for wanting to create a comfortable home for my future family, cooking for my husband, being a soccer mom, keeping my house tidy? Because honestly, I cannot wait.

I will have no problem taking my future husband’s last name, and following his lead.

The Bible appoints men to be the head of a family, and for wives to submit to their husbands. (This can be interpreted in so many ways, so don't get your panties in a bunch at the word “submit”). God specifically made women to be gentle and caring, and we should not be afraid to embrace that. God created men to be leaders with the strength to carry the weight of a family.

However, in no way does this mean that the roles cannot be flipped. If you want to take on the responsibility, by all means, you go girl. But for me personally? I'm sensitive, I cry during horror movies, I'm afraid of basements and dark rooms. I, in no way, am strong enough to take on the tasks that men have been appointed to. And I'm okay with that.

So please, let me look forward to baking cookies for bake sales and driving a mom car.

And I'll support you in your endeavors and climb to the top of the corporate ladder. It doesn't matter what side you are on as long as we support each other, because we all need some girl power.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

10 Of The Best On-Campus Date Ideas For Broke UK Couples

Some of the University of Kentucky's best spaces for you and your boo.

293
views

Planning a good date on campus can be difficult when you and your S.O. are both low on funds. You want to do something fun, but everything on your mind is out of walking distance or costs more than the $3 you found in your jeans pocket. You don't have to stress any longer. There are plenty of sweet spots on campus, perfect for bringing a bit of fun and romance to your day. Here are my 10 favorite campus dates.

1. ​​Picnic outside of Willy T​​

picnic outside Willy T

Spring is fast approaching, and there is no better way to enjoy the warmer weather than a picnic in the quad outside the library. Grab a basket of your favorite foods and snacks, a couple of blankets, and your sweetheart, and get ready for a good time. My favorite picnic snacks are sandwiches, cheez-its, chocolate-covered strawberries, and probably everything else in my mini-fridge.

2. The Johnson Center

Johnson Center rock wall

Couples that sweat together, stay together! Maybe that's not a fact, but the gym on campus can be a great place to spend some time with your boo while being healthy. You can use machines side by side, spot each other, or (my favorite) rock climb together! After a date at the gym, all of the endorphins your body released will put both of you in the best mood ever. Feel free to take a post-date nap together too (if you're not too sweaty, of course).

3. Hammock, anywhere!

couple hammock

The campus is full of trees, which are perfect for hanging your hammock and cuddling up with your favorite person! A hammock is a perfect place for napping, reading, daydreaming, and even having deep conversations. If you or your S.O. are lucky enough to have a hammock, find some trees, grab a blanket, and get relaxed and romantic.

4. Your dorm

couple

Believe it or not, your dorm can be the perfect spot for a cute date. The options are endless! One of my favorite things to do is to build a sick fort, watch some Netflix, and cuddle. It may sound childish, but it's a great time, and the building process may even start a pillow fight. Other things you can do in your dorm are the classic binging Netflix, ordering in, having a spa night (face masks FTW!), or anything really! Don't be afraid to get childish, and just have fun.

5. Gatton Student Center

Gatton Student Center

There are always plenty of fun activities going on in the Gatton Student Center. Whether it be live music or "The Office" trivia, you're guaranteed to have fun! You and your favorite guy or gal can do anything, from trying stand-up comedy, to watching a movie or just chilling on the Social Staircase.

6. Bike around campus

bike around campus

UK's campus is so beautiful, especially in the spring, and the best way to take it all in is by a scenic bike ride with your honey. Find your favorite route and ride by the prettiest places on campus. While beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, one of the prettiest spots is in front of the main building. You can even combine some dates and add a stop for hammocking or a picnic during the bike ride. The possibilities are endless!

7. Starbucks

Starbucks

Every college student I know is constantly starved for coffee. Starbucks can be a great place for getting your caffeine fix, having a meaningful conversation, and even getting some studying in, all at the same time. Make silly faces at your S.O. with a whipped cream mustache and make a café latte toast to life. If you find yourself at the Starbucks in the student center, go UK merch shopping too! Maybe you can even get your date to buy your coffee (wouldn't that be nice).

8. Do something for charity

apo service fraternity

Charity work can be so much fun and it's good for the soul, too. Do something good for your community and make it into a date! There are plenty of things you can do, from decorating cakes for Sweet Blessings or giving blood at a UK blood drive. You can find volunteer work on your own, or you and your S.O. can join a service organization like Alpha Phi Omega (APO).

9. Stargaze

stargazing

If you live right outside of a big city, I'm sure you can understand how hard it is to see actual stars in the night sky. When I came to UK, I was so excited to see real constellations in the sky. As a hopeless romantic, my immediate thought was to plan a date under the beautiful Lexington sky. This is one of the easiest dates out there because all you need is a blanket, a nice spot outside, and someone to share some beautiful moments with.

10.  The Arboretum

arboretum

The Arboretum is a beautiful place, and it can create a very romantic setting for a date. You can relax in the grass and take in the beautiful surroundings or opt for a more high energy date with a walk, run, or bike ride. Either way, the Arboretum is full of gorgeous trees and flowers guaranteed to have you in awe (but the best part is all of the dogs that people bring, IMO).

Related Content

Facebook Comments