A popular misconception regarding pornography is the idea if someone truly understood the negative consequences of pornography on them, their loved ones, and their spirituality, etc. they would stop.
Well, I'm going to share with you an analogy, and I want you to use your imagination:
Let's say – there's this special polygraph machine. This polygraph can not only tell if you're lying but can pick up on the SLIGHTEST emotions you have. You volunteered to be hooked into this machine and the instructor tells you WHATEVER you do, don't feel stress. You realize you're in a new environment, this is kind of weird, and maybe someone coughs from behind you, when -- ding ding! -- the machine goes off.
The instructor shakes his head and says, “I guess we didn't raise the stakes high enough. Let's find something that will motivate you more.” He starts hooking electric cords to your arm, explaining that this time if the machine registers stress you will receive a strong electric shock. He turns on the polygraph. It's only a matter of time before a tiny bit of fear creeps into your mind. How badly is it going to hurt? Ding ding -- the machine goes off. An electric shock painfully runs through your body.
Again, the instructor just shakes his head. “Let's put something bigger on the line,” he says, “How about I put a large gun to your head. Won't that motivate you to control yourself?”
Ding ding -- the machine goes off.
“Let's try a little bigger,” the instructor says, “How about I make it so that if the machine registers stress again – I will hurt everyone you love. Any relationship you find yourself in, I will sabotage. I will make it so you can never have a happy, healthy marriage. You will always be alone, and everyone you care about will never understand you or trust you again.”
Ding ding -- the machine goes off.
“Fine then. Let's try one last time,” the instructor concludes, “This time, if you feel stressed again – I will make it so you can never live with God in heaven. How do you feel about that? If you can't control something as small as this, do you think you even deserve heaven?”
I'm sure you know what comes next.
I understand that no form of addiction can be generalized over a large group of people, but as with any bad habit, you can often find “triggers” that cause your brain to create a link to the undesired behavior. Stress has been long labeled as one of the most basic “triggers” of human behavior. You are essentially cocking your own gun.
Yet as humans, we recognize we are responsible for our own actions. As a result, we can sometimes feel little empathy for those who claim to be trapped in a downward spiral – out of their control. But for the people we love who struggle with pornography, is it possible that by reminding them of possible consequences or creating guilt trips – we are actually sabotaging their efforts, rather than motivating them to be better? If we remind them and constantly bring up the threats of continued pornography use, we are actually helping build an environment more suited for failure than to success.
As a society, it's important that we move the conversation toward a more realistic approach to solving the problem of pornography. But first, let's start by putting the gun down.
