Everyone gets trapped in the negative world from time to time. Sometimes it seems the only way to escape is to wait for it to dissappear, but disaster is stuck like glue and the only way to rid of it is to pry it from your very body and dispose of it. Battling the negative aspects of life and dealing with day to day struggles causes a swarm of uncertainty and stress, seemingly unmanageable.
Alas, we do not have to go through it all alone. In my times of need, when hope is fleeting, I turn to DBT to guide me through and allow me to see the light through the darkness. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a set of skills created by Marsha M. Lineman, originally designed to treat patients with borderline personality disorder, has flourished and continues to spread across a wide spectrum of mental disorders—as well as average people with a willingness to better their lives—as a treatment option. The set of skills is broken down into four modules: Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance.
Mindfulness: The main goal of mindfulness is to live in the present moment. It is easy to get distracted thinking about what you are going to wear to school tomorrow or if your best friend will ever forgive you for your wrongdoings. Mindfulness lets go of any passing thoughts and focuses only on the present moment, noticing and observing but never clinging to any particular moment. The master of mindfulness will allow each and every passing moment to come and go, never clinging on to a moment of the past or waiting for the future. It is not a simple task to obtain the ability to stay mindful through pressure and hardship, but the practice of DBT will help you get there.
Interpersonal Effectiveness: This set of skills focuses on you and your interactions with others. It deals with building and ending relationships, how to handle confrontations, and the best way to address a problem rationally. The most important aspect of this section, in my opinion, is the mnemonic DEAR MAN GIVE FAST. This skill takes you through a set of steps to take when addressing another about an issue you wish to be resolved. The reason I like this skill so much is because it allows you to speak calmly and rationally with whomever you are addressing, giving you greater chances of obtaining your objective while avoiding a fight or screaming match. To all my fellow introverts, this section is for you!
Emotion Regulation: It is very difficult for the average person to manage and remain in control of their own emotions. Various emotions hit us at random times and, more often than not, we do not know how to cope with such emotions. The goal for emotion regulation is to gain control of your emotions and recognize them as they arise in order to prevent catastrophic outbreaks and irrational thinking. Sometimes we cannot even place a name to what we are feeling, making it even more difficult to change the unwanted emotion. These skills present one with the knowledge needed to understand and place emotions as well as reduce vulnerability to such emotions.
Distress Tolerance: The fourth module, distress tolerance, offers skills to cope with stressful situations and unwanted emotions. These skills will help to manage stressful situations and allow one to see the reality of each passing moment. Pain and suffering are inevitable and simply accepting this fact of life is the first step in understanding and utilizing distress tolerance. When suffering is at a high, one may feel as if it will always be as it is in that moment, taking us back to the practice of mindfulness.
All four modules go hand in hand and stem from the same incentive of improving the quality of life. Though DBT was original geared towards individuals with mental disorders, every single individual can utilize these skills to improve the quality of their own life and deal with the negative in positive ways. I encourage everyone to explore the world of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, accept it without judgment, and let it provide you with the tools needed to become the best version of yourself.
