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An Effective Guide To Procrastination

True Life: I'm a professional procrastinator.

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An Effective Guide To Procrastination
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Procrastination is a skill mastered by many college students. Let's just face it, there are endless excuses to avoid work, and its practically impossible to not fall into the trap of procrastination. Deadlines are my worst enemy, no matter what the task is. I create long to-do lists, but never fully complete them. And I am inevitably late to any and every obligation I have. I don't plan on procrastinating, I just have a horrid habit of thinking that I can wait until the last minute (literally) to do something.

Even with finals week far behind me, summer vacation is coming to an end and I've managed to procrastinate it all away. Did I start that diet I said I would in May? Nope. How about signing up for those 2 summer classes? No, again. Now lets looks at what I have actually managed to do: I have re-watched "Gossip Girl," refreshing my memory on how to become a member of the Upper East Side Elite; I also finished "Orange Is The New Black," learning how to survive prison; lastly, through countless makeup tutorials, I taught myself how to strobe my makeup and wing my eyeliner.

If there is one thing that I am good at, it is procrastinating. So without further ado, here are some steps to help you procrastinate effectively!

1. Make a to-do list of everything that needs to be done. Pull out those gel pens and color-code everything!

2. Check your Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, even Facebook, if you're looking for a throwback. Accidentally end up 72 weeks deep on your sorority sisters', cousins', ex-boyfriends' Instagram. Good, you've now wasted 45 minutes!

3. Now put on some tunes! Your lack of perfect Spotify playlists requires you to create a brand new one. Maybe in the process, dance around to a song... or three.

4. Attempting to be productive, type your name, professor, date, and title. Now, reward yourself with ONE episode of "New Girl."

5. After accidentally watching 2 or 3 episodes, instead, you notice that your nails are completely chipped, this issue obviously requires immediate attention... so a Mani Pedi it is.


6. Obviously you can't type with wet nails, so go check on your roommates, who are also studying. They'll most likely kick you out for talking too much and being a distraction, so you come to the conclusion that you really need to stop procrastinating... but only after you eat.

7. Eat a disgusting amount of bagel bites and drink some coffee. Don't you feel more ready to write that paper now?

8. After a couple of minutes, decide you can't work in the disaster you call a room. It's now the perfect time to fold the clean laundry on your floor, organize your desk, and dust. (Note: If you start cleaning, the procrastination is really kicking in)

9. You're not hungry, you're filled with caffeine, and your room is clean, so now you complete a little more of this assignment. Until you start thinking, "do I actually need this class? What if I just don't turn this in? Honestly, how bad would it be?"

10. Now here you are on the school page, seeing if you really do need to take this class. It turns out that, if you change your major to communications, you'll still graduate on time and even get to take that puppetry class you wanted to freshman year! (In reality, though, your parents would kill you, so this is not a reasonable option.)

11. It's now 1 a.m. and you decide your beauty sleep is way more important. So off to bed you go, hoping to complete the assignment in the morning

There is no changing the ways of a procrastinator; we will forever think that we are focused and productive people who can finish any task within an hour. And even though we take forever to finish a task, we still always finish it.

Happy procrastinating everyone!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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