My family likes to camp. And when I say we like to camp, I actually mean that we've been living and breathing dirt and pine every summer for the past 53 years. Needless to say, we're big into tradition. And spending a few weeks at my favorite place on Earth (Bass Lake, Calif.) just happens to be one of those traditions. With such an extensive camping career (as I am about to embark on my 19th annual camping trip) I feel I am fully qualified to share some words of wisdom for all you young grasshoppers wanting to experience the joy of nature.
This, my friends, is your very own camping guidebook covering the very basics and essentials necessary for a good experience becoming one with Mother Nature.
1. Get friendly with dirt.
It is everywhere. There is no way to avoid getting dirty, so you might as well embrace it. Been pasty all year? Well, this is the perfect opportunity to get your dirt-tan on.
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2. And for that matter, bugs.
Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't arm yourself with copious amounts of bug spray, but that doesn't mean you should scream Bloody Mary every time a spider crosses your path.
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3. Pack only what you need.
Like our great forefathers said, "What must go up, also must come down." Okay, maybe they didn't actually say that, and my family in no way actually follows this rule, but as long as you are ready to put in the effort to set up that 20 foot pop-up tent, or meticulously back up a trailer into the forest, then by all means, go for it.
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4. Step away from technology.
There is no way for you to truly see all the majesty your surroundings has to offer if your nose is stuck in front of your phone. Camping is the perfect opportunity for you to bond with actual human beings -- and, no Siri, is not actually your friend.
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5. Enlist the help of cards.
Or board games. Really, any will do. My family is a big fan of the games: Spoons, Gin, and Jenga (Jenga while camping will really test your skill since all surfaces are uneven).
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6. Get creative.
Tie-dye shirts, go on bike rides, see who can scrounge up the most pine cones. There should never be a dull moment. If your family is a little more on the liberal side, perhaps you can introduce them to the wonders of beer pong -- and, yes, that is me and my family playing in the head photo.
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7. Take the trip one step at a time.
It might rain, you might get lost. Someone might have to make a trip to the emergency room (or "Urgent I-Don't-Care," as my family calls it), but it will all be okay. Don't get ahead of yourself, expect the unexpected, and go into your trip with a positive attitude!
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8. Prepare the ultimate campfire.
If all else fails, an awesome campfire is all you need to save yourself from a doomed trip. On that note, you should definitely bring an ample supply of comfy chairs. Maybe a guitar if you happen to be musical. Or, if most of your family is musically inept like mine, campfire time is the perfect opportunity to break out your best stories.
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9. S'mores.
They are essential to campfires, and take two people to make them. While one person roasts, the other prepares the graham cracker and chocolate. Simple. Lately, I've discovered the deliciousness of using Reese's Peanut Butter cups instead of Hershey's. Try it out!
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Happy camping!
Feminism Redefined
