I am no stranger to heartbreak. If you are lucky enough to know my life story, you’ll understand that. In short, I’ll say I have experienced a lot of loss in my life, I have been through roller coasters of relationships. My heart has been through some tough stuff. But I am also no stranger to love. If my life had a motto, it would be love. When I love, I love with all that I have and more. I love hard. I’ve known for a long time that my life calling has to do with love; I have been blessed with a very big heart. Because of that, I often wear my heart on my sleeve.

Many times, I’ve put my heart out there knowing the risk of it being broken. But, through all of my life lessons, I’ve learned to be a little more protective. I’ve left the foolish girl behind and I’ve grown into a guarded woman. I’ve learned that, out of all of the things I like about myself, I love and cherish my heart the most. I want to share this, not in a boastful manner, but in a way that you understand how I feel about my own heart. My heart has been through some… for lack of a better term… shit.

However, I am proud of how strong my heart is, that no matter how shattered it feels, the pieces and cracks always go back together and I can turn around and love as if I were never broken. My heart is bursting with passion, desire, joy, raw love, kindness, and a newfound boldness. I treasure that about myself, I treasure the way my heart works and all that is within my heart and soul. And I should. I fell in love with my own heart and I want to protect it and treasure it because it is that special to me.

Not only is it that special to me, it is incredibly special to the one who created it. My heart is a ruby to God, who molded it specifically for me, and because of that truth, I have handed my heart over to Him. That is part of my guard. Guarded women are often misunderstood. If you're guarded, it means you are cold-hearted, difficult, or even stubborn. I disagree. I see being guarded as an act of wisdom.

Too many people throw their hearts around with no precautions, and you wonder why we live in a world full of heartbreak. As someone who is guarded, I can say that I am still capable of love, and caring. I am still the warm, inviting, loving person I have always been. My heart is still out there. I just approach love from a cautious angle.

If I’m going to give my heart away, if I am going to love you with all the love I have to give and then some, I want to be sure it will be treasured the way I treasure it, and loved the way God loves it. Although I see this as a positive thing, being guarded is not always easy. Sometimes I hate that my heart has a guard; I don’t like having to keep people at a distance when I want nothing more than to let my heart free and let my love flow.

But I just can’t, I treasure it too much to just let it go so quickly. Having my guard up doesn’t mean my feelings get shut off. I may not always show it or feel it, but it’s there. Also understand that my heart is not guarded to keep people out. I am not afraid to let people in, I am not afraid of heartbreak.

I am guarded because I value my heart enough to want to keep it safe; It is important to me. My heart and soul is who I am, and to lend that to someone else and have them accept it completely and love it the same is a big deal.

Sometimes others don’t understand a guarded heart and won’t take the time or effort to get through, and that’s the hard part. It’s hurts to watch someone walk away because your guard is up and they don’t think it is worth the fight. I completely understand that, I get it, and I’ll still love you because I know I’m worth it, even if you don’t. I know it's not easy to love a guarded heart, but I promise, if you understand the heart behind the wall, it will be worth it every time.

Behind a wall lies a heart that will choose to love you, every day, every night, and in any circumstance, unconditionally. There is a heart that will love you fiercely and most passionately. There is a heart that will be there for you on the good days and the bad days and all of the in-betweens. A heart that will be your best friend. There’s a heart that will be real with you, always. A heart that will understand you even when you don’t make any sense at all. There’s a heart in there that will treasure your heart like the gem that it is.

Behind the wall, there is a heart that will always see the good in you, even when you can’t. Most importantly, there is a heart that loves God and is in-tune with His words and speaks life through her love. There is a diamond in there, don’t give up on it yet.

“Don’t ever miss out on a woman with a guarded heart. She’s usually protecting the deepest, most caring soul you’ll ever know.”