Come the first day of December, I receive the same text like clockwork: “I need your x-mas list by the 11th.” My mom has sent me these since I was a freshman in high school. This year I got mad -- like seriously and legitimately mad. Mom, a week before finals that’s exactly what I have time to do. How selfish am I? Asking me what I want for Christmas, and I’m mad. Horrible and embarrassing. My mom isn’t the best Christmas shopper. She tries, truly she does, but she has gotten used to asking my brothers and I what we want and delivering on Christmas in fine matter.
Somehow I find the time to scrap together a list to send to my mom, and under the tree every year is everything I asked for. I am still waiting on the Jeep, but it's cool. I’m sure we’ve all heard Kelly Clarkson's song “My Grown-Up Christmas List.” It is a great holiday song, and one I love to dramatically sing in the car. On tune, I’d bring you to tears. Anyway, I feel truly blessed a little more every Christmas to wake up with two parents and brothers, friends, and more family to see later that day. However, today I feel nothing but guilt.
This week alone there have been three shootings. The New York Times says that on average, more than one shooting occurs every day that leaves four or more people dead. #MuslimKillers was trending on Twitter for a full day. Students of color at Mizzou are now fighting a nation in the fight against racism. And my mom wants to know if I need a new wallet. I want more for Christmas this year, and I know I won’t get it.
I want the wars overseas to stop. I want husbands, wives, and children across the country to be with their entire families for the holidays instead of in the middle of the war zone. I want those of color to feel safe and wanted on their campuses, in their work fields, and in this world. I want the gay community to be celebrated and accepted. I want the realities of mental health to stop being an excuse and start being a conversation. I want religion to be a way of life for someone, not a death sentence or a title. I want single parents to be glorified. I want children of divorce to be full with love. I want every orphan to find a loving family. I want every child to go to college and not be restricted in any way. I want people to stop starving and disease to stop spreading. I want cancer to be gone, instead of our loved ones that are because of it. I want headlines to stop running our world. I want everyone in the world to feel safe.
It is a long and devastating list, and I hate that it is that long. However, mostly I hate that that list might never ever be complete; it may just get longer and scarier. It’s not that I need any of this, I just want it. The world does need it. Maybe if we all put one of these things on our Christmas list this year, we all could see a little change.
