Last year, I met my freshman year roommate through a SUNY Oneonta Facebook group. Before solidifying our plans to live together, she asked, "Just so you know, I have two moms. Is that okay?" I'll admit I was kind of stunned, not because she was the child of a same-sex couple but because it made me realize that there are some people who would have answered that question with "no".
When gay marriage was finally nationally recognized and legalized in June, I was overjoyed not only for my best friend's parents and family but for families all over the United States. Over a year after meeting my roommate, I reflected back on our conversation and that question and asked if I could interview her to educate others and show how great her and her family are.
What do you call your parents?
"This is the first question everyone asks me and I think it’s so funny. I call them both mom! If I need something and I say “mom!” and the wrong one answers, I’ll just yell “other mom!” People think it’s funny, but I can’t think of another way to do it!"
Are your parents married? What was their wedding like?
"They got married in April 2014 after being together for over 20 years! It was a very, very small ceremony, but it was a lot of fun, and it was nice to see my parents so happy."
Were you ever bullied or felt different because of your family background?
"Never! I’ve always lived in very small towns, so everyone knew me and knew my family. If anyone had a problem with my parents, they’ve never said anything. Most of my friends are obsessed with my parents because they’re the coolest!"
Many people who oppose same-sex marriage use religion as a reasoning force. What religion were you raised as?
"I’m Catholic and was raised Catholic. Growing up, my church was also very accepting of my family. We were all involved and had a lot of good friends in the church!"
Others who oppose same-sex couples raising children believe children need both a male and female role model. What’s your reaction to this reasoning?
"I definitely think it’s important for children to have healthy male and female role models in their lives. I don’t think they need to necessarily be a mom and a dad though. Role models can be aunts, uncles, teachers, coaches, which I’ve had all my life. Growing up with two moms and sisters, I obviously had more female role models, but I think I’ve turned out pretty well."
What’s your typical reaction when people ask personal questions such as how your family came to be?
"When people find out I have two moms they ask very personal questions, but I’m a very open person so I’ll answer almost anything. I know a lot of people have never met someone with a family like mine, so I like to help people understand it!"
Do you know of or are you close to any other people who were raised by a same-sex couple?
"I was literally in love with a boy in preschool because he had two moms like me, but other than that I actually don’t know anyone else with same-sex parents."
Would you say your background has shaped your political beliefs or world views?
"I’m definitely a very open minded person. I’d like to think I’d be that way no matter who my parents were, but it’s probably a factor. Although I haven’t experienced it personally, there are people who think my family is wrong without knowing us, so I definitely try to keep an open mind about everything."
What were your and your parents’ reactions to same-sex marriage finally becoming legal nationwide back in June?
"I honestly had no idea it was even being voted on, but when I found out we were obviously very excited! When I lived in Maine, the first time same-sex marriage was voted on, it was rejected. It might not seem like a big deal, but for me it felt like being told that my family was less than everyone else’s. I’m happy everyone is able to marry the person they love."
What do you have to say to people who are opposed to same-sex couples having children?
"There are so many other more important things to be worried about, who my parents are shouldn’t bother anyone. I have two amazing parents that give me everything I could ever need, and the fact that they are both women doesn’t change anything!"
