Growing Pains. My 20th birthday is quickly approaching and I have really been reflecting. Anyone who knows me knows that I am always “reflecting,” “worrying,” “lost,” and generally anxious about any and everything in my life.

But as I write this, I want to reflect on all of the things that I know for certain and that I am grateful for indefinitely. Growing up has meant that my body has changed, transformed, morphed, and sometimes turned on me as it has often felt like. But on the plus side, I have two arms, two legs, and all of my God given and necessary parts, even if they have grown to be plus sized. Growing up has meant that as the years have gone by, life has happened to me and while unfortunately, I couldn't remain unaffected I am much more aware of my mental health.

I do not underestimate what it means to be aware of my mental health, what it means to be able to recognize when and how I have needed help and how essential Allah has been in that process. I believe truly that knowing your mind, heart and soul is the largest power you can possess as an individual. Growing up has meant that I have gone through the loss of innocence that almost all of us experience. It’s a rite of passage of sorts. You learn that the world around you can be cold, brutal and devastating. On the plus side my resolve and faith in Allah, as well as humanity and only grown stronger. As you grow and see the world around you for what it is, simultaneously, you see yourself and what power you possess to change it. In all of the disparity I have seen in 20 years, I found the nucleus of who I am and what kind of person I want to be. I know exactly the kind of legacy I want to leave behind. What a beautiful gift devastation has given me.

Growing up has meant I have made endless mistakes and I have disappointed plenty of people, but Inshallah I will be blessed with a long happy healthy life in which I am able to correct those mistakes. What a beautiful and amazing thing to be almost 20 in 2016. What a beautiful thing to have lived so much life and experienced so many emotions. I couldn’t be more grateful.