I’m gonna be honest- It’s been a tough week. And, coincidentally it’s also my birthday. Another year, come and gone.

However, today doesn’t feel very special. It feels like any other day. It’s odd, because that’s how all of the major holidays in the past year have felt, too.

Is this just a side effect of aging? Now that I’m getting older do I also have to be grouchier, and become void of the joy that is so abundant in children?

That’s how it has been starting to seem lately. Holidays have been losing their magic. I’ve been more stressed in the past year than in the eighteen years previous, put together.

Growing old is strange. But it happens. It’s not optional. So why not make the best of it?

I’ve always had very high aspirations, and I’ve always known that it was going to take a lot of work to get to where I want to go. But now it’s getting hard and I feel like I’m fighting an uphill battle.

But that’s also not entirely how I feel since I love what I do. It just has its moments. And its fees.

Nothing in adult life comes free, nor would I want it to. You have to work for what you want, and I want a lot out of life.

But if the most important thing I want out of life is happiness, then why is it becoming so sparse these days.

I realized it yesterday, I think. I was out for a walk listening to my favorite composer when I was reminded of what it was all for; all of the work, and sacrifice. It’s so I can give back in the largest capacity I can; through teaching.

But that doesn’t address the problem of why I’m not happy right now. But I think I figured that one out, too. It’s because I forget that I am. I get so caught up in day-to-day stress, and busy schedules that I forget how happy I am doing what it is that I do.

I forget to have that childlike wonder in my day-to-day viewing of the world. I forget the appreciate beautiful things. I forget that I don't have to grow up, and that I'm just getting older.

And growing old is technically really easy. All you have to do is not die. But doing it, and staying happy and true is challenging sometimes. There is going to be hard work, sacrifice and tough decisions. But there will be rewards.

And as long as my memory holds up, I don’t suppose I should have too many issues.