“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody.”
- Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being A Wallflower
When you were a little kid, your best friends meant the world to you. You did everything together and never thought you’d be apart. But with youth comes blissful ignorance and blindness. It’s impossible to imagine that someone whom you shared your deepest secrets with could one day become a complete and total stranger, but the sad reality is that’s exactly what happens. You don’t purposely stop talking to each other. In fact, the majority of the time, there was nothing that caused a falling out. The fact of the matter is that people just naturally grow apart over time. It’s a part of life.
I grew up hearing from my family that I’d probably only keep in touch with one or two of my friends when I was older. And while I knew that they were right, it was hard to believe at the time. When I graduated middle school, I open-enrolled into a different high school in another district because that’s where all my friends were going. When I was in middle school, I pictured myself being with my friend group forever, but that wasn’t the case.
As people grow older, we change. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but that means we grow apart from people we once used to be close with. If you had told me that by the end of my high school career I would have completely different friends, I probably wouldn’t have believed you. We all develop different interests that lead us in different directions. You’re not the same person at 17 that you were when you were 13.
I have to say, losing friends is bittersweet. It’s sad to look at someone who you used to call your best friend and realize that now you two are nothing but mere acquaintances. And while there are some friendships I wish I could rekindle, I’m extremely thankful for the new ones I’ve made. And despite no longer talking to some people, that doesn’t change the fact that they were a crucial part of what made me who I am today.
Don’t get me wrong, there are still a good two or three people who I’ve remained close with over the years. In the hallways, when I pass someone (who used to be good friends with me) in the hallway, we still say hi and smile at one another. There was a time when I spent a while dwelling over my lost relationships with people and wondering what went wrong. But the majority of the time, there wasn’t anything that went wrong. In fact, everything was perfectly fine. But you have a hard time continuing to relate to certain people as you both develop into your own person, and you have to accept that that’s OK.
The point is that you can’t expect the people who are in your lives now to remain in your lives four years from now. That’s just not how life works. We can’t help but grow and go our separate ways. And while it may seem sad at first, you’ll eventually find a new crowd and move on. You’re not the same person you were four years ago, and you won’t be four years from now either. As we change we find friends who better adapt to our lives, but that’s all a part of the journey.
