Okay, I lied. This isn't a listicle.

Breakups are hard: people get attached and it's hard to think about life without this other person. You're emotionally invested... That's why breakups are ugly, tearful, and painful.

A healthy breakup is about doing what's best for you and the other person. Breaking up doesn't necessarily mean that the love ends, because (as the saying goes), if you truly love someone, you wants what's best for them; you want them to be happy. If you aren't what's best for them and no longer make them happy, loving them may mean letting them go.

Break ups don't only happen romantically – they happen with friends and even extracurricular activities.

A couple of weeks ago, I experienced a very difficult breakup... this week, I broke up with concert choir.

Music has and always will be a big part of my life. I can't even listen to music while studying because I will get so distracted by the chords, instrumentation, lyrics or anything else and forget what I've read in my textbook. I've been singing nearly as long as I've been speaking, and the highlight of my middle and high school careers was participating in marching band.

Realizing that choir was doing me more harm than good was a hard realization. In turn, I knew that I was also hurting the group. The pieces we were working on were in French and had difficult parts – so, in addition to learning music, I was also learning a different language.

It was utterly demoralizing for me, and I lost motivation to attend practice or work on it by myself. For me to really nail the piece, I knew I would have to devote a lot of time and attention to the music... time and attention I did not have.

I love this choir so deeply. I have made several great connections within the group, and the one saving grace of Monday is doing devotionals and worshiping with the ensemble. Singing at the collegiate level hasn't been easy, but it is definitely a stress reliever from the toils of academia.

Above all, I love my choral director. She is the brightest ray of sunshine and positive energy, beautifully gifted musically and easily one of the most caring and empathetic people I have ever had the privilege of knowing.

Saying goodbye to the choir and my beloved director was the hardest decision I've made my entire freshman year. That is not and exaggeration.

My director comforted me with these encouraging words, telling me that the choir room would always be open to me, even if I needed to lie on the floor, make flash cards and just needed to listen to live music:

"Those extra hours you get – of course are going to be spent studying – but now, you can spend 17 minutes in the shower instead of 7, or watch a movie with your girlfriends, or get an extra hour of sleep."

While breakups are definitely painful, growing up often means making hard decisions and letting go. However, it's important to take care of and love yourself and to take care and love others.