Recently, I've noticed that more often than not, I've been dreading this whole "growing up" thing just a little bit extra. I mean, I don't entirely blame myself...I'm going to be 21 in just a few months, and despite the fact that 21 is probably the most anticipated birthday, I can't help but hope and pray that these months don't fly by. If I told that to any of my friends, they'd probably think I'm crazy. Who wouldn't want to be 21? You're finally free to be an adult.
But that's the thing: I don't exactly want to be an adult, either.
Whenever I'm laying awake at 2 a.m. I always find myself doing the exact same thing every time counting sheep doesn't work: I scroll and scroll through my camera roll, Instagram, and Facebook, reliving all of my high school and beginning-of-college memories through the pictures I took. With every photograph, I can remember the exact time and place, and the exact way I felt in that moment in time. And the older I get, the more sad it makes me to look back on the pictures and realize how much things have changed since then.
It's crazy to think that just a few years ago, I was a carefree teenager. I still can't believe I took high school and all of the irresponsibility that came with it, for granted. I had nothing to worry about, besides what I was going to wear out on Friday night and which of my friends would be going to the football games with me.
When I look at my sisters, who are all in and entering their teenage years, I can't help but be jealous that they're about to have the best years of their life, while mine seem to be coming to an end.
But then I have to remember, even though 20 feels old, it's not as old as it seems. I still have some of the best years ahead of me, and sometimes I fail to realize that. Every time an adult asks how old I am, the response is always the same: "Wow, I'd do anything to be in my 20s again."
And it really is true, your 20s are some of the best years of your life. College is the time to learn and grow as a person, to develop who you are and a solid group of friends, to branch out and network with new people, and to create memories that are going to be just as special as the ones you make in high school. You're finally old enough to travel on your own, explore the world, make your own decisions, and not have to worry about anyone else stopping you. And just because you're growing older, doesn't necessarily mean you have to grow up. You can age without losing the spirit and happiness you had as a child, or a teenager. With more responsibilities also comes more freedom. Just because you might have a little more on your plate, doesn't mean you have to be stressed out all the time. Appreciate growing old, because you may be gaining years (and probably a few wrinkles over time), but you're also gaining wisdom, knowledge, experience, and memories to come.
