When someone you love passes, it changes your whole world. In all honesty, it turns your whole world upside down. Everything you thought you knew ends up being changed. You lose yourself in the process. 4 months without my mom, and it feels like yesterday I got the call. I can tell you that I do not have all the answers, I am not a master at working through my grief. There are days where I wish I didn't have to think about it, and there are days where I feel guilty that I don't think about it enough. There are so many times where I think to myself, "am I going crazy?" I know I'm not, but sometimes my emotions are so overwhelming that it's hard to comprehend.
Grief is unique and everyone faces it in different ways. A book I read talked about how it's kinda like walking through a wilderness, you can't go around it but you must go through it- in order to heal your broken heart. Yes, you can heal in different ways but not fully heal of course- you're never going to be the same. There is something that will always be missing for the rest of your life and that's hard to take in. The beauty in it is that they live forever in your heart. However, they aren't here on earth, there are ways that you can honor them every single day.
My sweet momma struggled a lot in her life, but she was the type of person to dance out her pain. I'm thankful for those sweet memories with her, where we would dance away. In a way, I think that's how life can be. When suffering is in the process, we can either sit and be miserable or get up and dance with the pain.
Grief can be scary but you are not alone. It might feel like you're walking through it alone but people that truly care and have the right intentions will stick by your side. It's hard for people to truly understand what you are going through but if they listen and be present with you in your suffering, they are truly angels. Remember- there is always light in the midst of darkness. So, go out and find what makes your soul sing and hang on to those sweet moments. I know some days will be tough and you will feel like you just want to give up. Don't give up. Take care of yourself, whatever that looks like in your eyes.
