It's awkward being on both the giving and receiving end of this kind of news, whether you're telling someone that you've lost a sibling or the one who is hearing this. For me, I deliver the news with a smile - basically just trying to smile through the awkwardness, and also probably creeping out / confusing the person who I'm talking to. For them, they're hyper-aware of their response, and most of the time, "I'm sorry," is what comes out. Of course, I give the normal, "it's okay" response. After many tries, I have yet to perfect this interaction and delivery of news.

Another thing I find myself constantly dreading and anticipating is being asked if I have siblings when getting to know someone. Of course, I'm not just going to lay this kind of deep thing on a person I'm meeting in passing or that won't be a major part of my life, but in doing this, am I betraying my sibling and the role they played in my life? I also mainly want to save the other person from feeling uncomfortable upon hearing this news, and their inner panic of how to appropriately respond. So, sometimes I reply that I only have a brother and completely leave my sister out of the story, but again, I feel wrong about this. Other times I might say that I have two siblings, and hope that they don't ask any further questions.

Having a dead sibling makes interactions so awkward - I never know what to say. And it's a bit funny that I'm the one who has dealt with immense loss, yet still not wanting to tell someone because I'm hyper-aware of their predicted uncomfortableness. It's also super awkward because people around you, if they aren't quite sure how to go about it, try to avoid speaking about the loss, or basically thinking that they will "remind" me of my sister, therefore upsetting me. But this is absolutely false! It's something that I never forget, but also being able to speak about my sibling and the memories is usually a huge relief. I love to share stories and laugh and keep my sister's memory alive in other people's lives.

So, overall, be upfront with your friends who have experienced loss - ask them how you can approach the topic and what makes them comfortable/uncomfortable. This will allow both of you to feel less awkward around having conversations about their loved one, as well as allow your friend to not think so deeply about bringing things up about their loved one. Let's hopefully try ot change these interactions that are so awkward and take away the uncomfortableness of telling someone about this. Let's turn it into an opportunity to connect, offer support, and share about their loved one.