There are books, studies and even entire series that show the effect an absent father has on a daughter. I read something that stated, “Well-fathered daughters are usually more self-confident, more self-reliant and more successful in school and in their careers than poorly-fathered daughters.” While many people may agree with this statement, I could not disagree more. My successes, along with my sisters’, are just two of the circumstances that prove this information to be completely wrong.
I am a perfect example of someone who grew up with an absent father. He knows me least of anyone; he does not know how old I was when I lost my first tooth, broke my first bone or when I completed every other milestone in my life. The only thing my father knows about me is my name and age, if he even remembers that. In the back of my mind, I have always wondered if I have ever crossed his mind or if he simply forgot I existed.
Growing up was the tough part. As a child, having to sit out of the father-daughter dances and never learning to play sports was something that hurt me at the time. I used to think about it too much. I wondered why I was not wanted by him and what made him decide other things were more important than helping to raise his little girl. Although my dad and I are related biologically, we are nothing alike. I am doing OK without him and always have been.
Looking back now, I realize that I am blessed with a mother who contributed enough love and support in my life to make up for any lost love. Her sacrifices and determination are the reason our foundation was built. She has provided me with every opportunity to help me reach my goals, and has worked non-stop to reassure me that I am valued and loved as a daughter. She is a true superwoman.
It may be a shock to people, but I am far from a girl with “daddy issues.” That label is not something I deserve, for I do not lack confidence, nor have I failed in school or life. I am skilled socially, academically and have never allowed the absence of his presence as an excuse to rebel or act out. If there’s anything my “daddy issues” taught me it’s that I now know everything I hope to not be. In life I pledge to never make the same mistakes my father did, and in love, I vow to find someone that is nothing like him.
I do not know where he may be now, or how he is living his life. I hope he is happy wherever he is. Many people believe I missed out in life by growing up without him around, but after all, how can you miss something you never had in the first place?
