Congratulations, You've Experienced Divorce
Start writing a post
Relationships

Congratulations, You've Experienced Divorce

If you grew up with divorced parents, you can relate.

270
https://cdrli.com/the-role-of-the-child-specialist-in-a-collaborative-divorce-hearing-the-voice-of-the-children/

First and foremost: Divorce is hard.

Today's topic is hard. Divorce is hard. The stigma around divorce is hard. Hard to talk and write about. But I'm writing this anyways to maybe reach out and show people experiencing this that they're not alone. And to the ones who can't relate, I hope it gives you insight into how much this may affect me and others.

Also, this isn't a pity party. No need to feel sad for me, because I'm stronger because of this situation. I have worked past it, moved on, forgiven, and am so much more than a girl with divorced parents and stepfamilies.

How was I supposed to know?

As a kid, I never realized that problems between my parents existed. I continued to live happily, experiencing my small childhood issues like what was for dinner or who my friends were at school. When my parents were having problems, I had no idea. All I thought was that my mom and dad still lived happily in our home. And that there was nothing wrong.

Maybe if I was older, I would've gotten the hint. But I was in 3rd grade. Things changed before my eyes quicker than ever. Writing about it now makes me feel as if time started moving more quickly after my parents split up. And if given a chance, I would've done something to try and stop it. But as a kid, how do you tell your parents how to act or for a decent explanation of why they weren't going to be married anymore? There's a lot more I could say, but for the sake of crying or revealing too much, I'll leave it at that. Maybe in the future. After all, I don't know you guys that well yet. ;)

Two Lives

I never realized that I basically live two different lives until I was writing about it. Interesting how that works. I act in two different ways, and I know what I can and can't say. It's weird. But it's normal for me. It's been normal for a while now. And I'm not ashamed to say it, it's just that I subconsciously do it. In one house, there are one set of rules, and in the other, a different set of rules. Two different ways of eating dinner or curfews or even just talking. One family may know more than the other.

Anyways, I'm saying all of this to help you realize or relate to the fact that a divorce is not only the separation or your mom and your dad, but also the separation from you and each of them. You see each parent in a different light after they split up. You see a range of emotions you've never seen your mom show in front of you. Or responses from your dad that you don't want to hear. And the worst part: you can't do anything about it.

As a kid, the divorce hit me hard. So hard that at times I had to think if this was actually happening in my life. And why wasn't it happening to my friends? I know that sounds cold, but it was hard for me to understand at the time.

The hurricane, tornado, wildfire, tsunami, etc.

I never would've thought that as I got older, more problems between my parents would arise. But they did. And those environmental disasters listed above is what it felt like. Me, in the middle of the storm. Me, a messenger between two people I love. Although I took most of the fall for these problems, I did it without complaining. It's a harsh reality that may not seem like much to you. But it made a huge impact on my daily life.

Moral of the story:

Since my parent's divorce happened during my childhood, I never processed the whole situation until I was old enough to realize it. I began to think of every step leading up to my dad moving out, having to switch schools, having to move houses (still traumatic), the day of divorce, and the creation of stepmoms and stepdads and stepsiblings.

It's a little crazy to wrap my head around sometimes. How my life and people's lives change dramatically after a divorce. However, everything happened for a reason. And after going through it, analyzing it, and accepting it, I've realized that it was necessary. God let it happen, knowing that it needed to happen. I can confidently say that my parents are happier than I've ever seen them. They're thriving in their new lives. New marriages, new family, new house, new attitudes. It's calmer now. At a level I can handle and am content with.

I love them both.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

57737
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

37210
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

958917
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

191860
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments