You had me at hello, and now I'm telling you goodbye. Again. For good this time, because there's no going back now.

You were someone special to me, and when I said goodbye I meant it, but I knew if you ever tried to talk to me again, all bets were off. You did just that, and I fell right back into the trap I was in with you. All the warning signs of the past were there, and I chose to ignore them. I knew, in the end, it was going to be bad.

In a sense, it sucks because you just wanted me as a second option, a fallback plan for when things with someone else don't work out. You hurt me once again and I just wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. You certainly did not deserve it and never will from me again. I'm not a second choice I'm a first and I'll never allow anyone to treat me like one ever again.

Again and again, I thought about you, every single day, whether it was while I brushed my teeth or was preparing to go to bed. You were always on my mind and it made it hard for me to open up to anyone else. I sent someone amazing away because I thought this time around it would be different. But clearly, some little boys won't ever grow up when you want them to.

I hope that I find the inner peace I'm going to search for this summer. How to find inner peace begins with going back to my roots. What I love, not what anyone else does. What do I love? The smell of rain when it is sprinkling outside, that fresh smell of the first drops hitting the ground. I love the sound of pianos, and the way ice cream melts on my tongue.

Even on my best day spent with you, there's no way you could ever give me the joy I desired. I need to spend time by myself and in the company of family and friends. They know me better than I know myself. They knew you were trouble from the start.

It may seem like I'm never going to be out of goodbyes for you, but this is the final one. I can't block you from my mind just as fast as I can block you on Facebook, but I'm trying. You're stuck in your childish ways and I'm growing up. I'm graduating from someone who is losing the best thing that he could have ever had the chance to have.

Reflecting on this, I found sanctuary in the lyrics to "Good Riddance" by Green Day. While it's not really a breakup song, I see it as one.

So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right

The tests God has thrown at me this past year have been the hardest I've ever had to face. I question him a lot, but I know what he does is for my benefit. Better things are coming and I just cannot see it now. Life is unpredictable and we cannot function in lives filled with predictability. His plan is right and true and I know years from now, this all won't matter. In the end, it's right, what is happening to me now is a lesson learned in time and used throughout the rest of my life.

The worth I haven't seen in myself in so long is coming to the light. All the feelings and thoughts of you will fade and be replaced by memories with my loved ones, and you'll never come crawling back. I don't need you and you don't deserve me, and thusly my chapter with you is closed under lock and I've thrown away the key.

I hope you have the time of your life. Good riddance. For good.