When I first said I wanted to go gray nearly a month ago, people were shocked that I would dye my hair a color with such a negative connotation. Over the past year I have dyed it several colors, including bright purple, dark pink, and red. When I decided to go gray, I thought I would get the same response I had gotten with every other hair color. However, this wasn’t the case.
Many people replied, “Oh, you don’t want to do that honey” or “you’ll get there soon enough.” It seemed like every one wanted to talk me out of it. In the process of going gray, I have learned a lot. The color now means more to me than just another hair style. Through experiencing different levels of discouragement, I realized how common this type of body shaming is.
When discussing body shaming, people don’t typically think about hair. It doesn’t really seem like that big of a deal, because you can simply change it. But really, it is. It’s just that no one wants to talk about it, or people just ignore it. So here I am, rambling on about something that no one wants to confront.
When women start going gray, they rush to the hair salon for a coloring, hoping that no one sees their roots growing in. It’s an attempt to hide age. It’s been this way for as long as we can remember. When people talk about gray hair, they talk about like it’s a burden. We want to cover it up to fool people about our age. Why is aging something to be ashamed of? Why is the natural color of our hair something to feel bad about? I personally think gray hair is beautiful, despite a person’s age.
Our societal ideal of beauty is extremely exclusive. It makes people feel like they have to look young to be beautiful. We fight so hard to get plus size models into the industry, hoping to convey realistic body types. Yet, we never portray moms with gray hair. Most models don’t have gray hair, though some everyday women start naturally growing in gray as soon as the age of twenty. We have set up the expectation for women to dye their hair and cover up what they naturally have. We have condemned gray hair as unattractive. When fighting so hard for various body sizes in the fashion industry, why not advocate for various ages too? And furthermore, for naturally gray hair?
As a young person, I look up to those who are older than me. I have learned nearly everything I know from people with naturally gray hair. Our elders are the ones guiding our way. They are the people we aspire to become one day. Our grandparents. Our moms. Our dads. Our teachers. Coaches. I appreciate all that these people have taught me. And to say that the natural gray hair that they possess is unacceptable for beauty? That is unacceptable in itself. Because I look up to these people in my life, I feel encouraged to go gray even more.
Gray is a symbol of being knowledgeable and experienced. I am not experienced in life at all. I humbly admit that I still have a whole lot to learn! But I look up to those who do know a lot, and I admire the paths they chose, leading to the people that they are today. I admire many people with gray hair. I would never want them to feel like they can’t be confident rocking their natural color due to what other people think.
Shaming gray hair is unacceptable. In my process of going gray, I have taken on a whole new viewpoint. I want to use my image to project beauty. Not everybody will perceive it as beauty, but I want to be gray. I feel inspired by my knowledgeable elders to put this body shaming to rest. It’s time to stop treating our natural selves like a burden. Gray is a blessing, and it’s beautiful. It’s time to speak up.
