Gravity.
The force that attracts a body towards the center of the earth, or towards any other physical body having mass. Not simply a force that pushes us down, but a force that pulls us sideways - a force that pulls us towards each other. It’s a force that can squash us - attract our body toward the center of the earth - or propel us - attract our body toward another physical body having mass- depending on how we choose to utilize its power.
It seems to me that these two options are available to everyone, the only difference in who gets squashed and who gets propelled is choice. That is, those who choose to allow gravity to squash them will be squashed and those who choose to allow gravity to act as a propeller will be propelled.
In this case, I speak of gravity as a spiritual force that has the ability to attract like souls to one another or demolish broken souls unto themselves. I speak, thus, of deep human connection – love, if you must. If you allow it to, this spiritual gravity naturally attracts like souls to your own - hence the word soulmate. Gravity finds you your soulmate. Again, hence the common ideology that one mustn’t search for love. This is the sideways force of gravity.
The other force- the force that attracts our body downwards towards the center of the earth - is that which often ensues when the horizontal force is disrupted or injured. This is the force that we often subject ourselves to in order to numb the pain produced by the absence of a previous sideways force - a previous encounter with a compatible soul. If this compatible soul shall be ripped away, it is as if two bar magnets are ripped apart.
Although they so desperately would like to be side-by-side, some external force won’t allow it. And so, to avoid the high-energy, unsettled state of being alone, they find the next closest thing to fulfill their attractive force. In many cases, that being the attractive force of the earth’s magnetic field. The outcome having the same squandering effect of the second type of gravity.
For us humans, just as the magnet wants to be at a low-energy, stable state, we innately seem to want the same. Thus, if we shall so, unfortunately, be ripped away from our compatible soul - the north end to our southern bar magnet- we, like bar magnets, try everything in our power to avoid the unsettled, often painful state of being alone. Thus, we subject ourselves to the other crushing force of gravity- that which pushes us down and away instead of out and towards others.
This comes in many forms to many different people, but a form I know too well is numbing myself. That is, to avoid the unsettled state, I simply repress it and forget that the other magnet ever existed as to allow myself to settle for the existence I am living rather than agonizingly reminisce on the reality that was. This is my crushing gravitational force- self-inflicted numbness.
And as I have recently been noticing myself begin to succumb to the self-inflicted numbness, I have become more aware of the fact that this is not just my reality but the reality of so many others as well. As a result, I have also become keenly aware of dialogue around me that speaks to this human condition. The best advice I have come to find so far comes from a monologue from a father to his son at the end of the movie “Call Me By Your Name”- a monologue inspired by the father’s apprehension that his son was succumbing to the unconscious, self-inflicted numbness in the aftermath of his son’s loss of a compatible soul. The monologue goes as follows:
“In my place, most parents would hope the whole thing goes away, or pray that their sons land on their feet soon enough,” Mr. Perlman says. “But I am not such a parent. In your place, if there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out, don’t be brutal with it. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night and watching others forget us sooner than we’d want to be forgotten is no better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of 30 and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything—what a waste!”
Thus, as I tell myself and as I share with you, never succumb to the squashing force of gravity- the self-inflicted numbness. As agonizing as it may be, continue to seek out the propelling force of gravity in search of your other bar magnet- your compatible soul.
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